"let me get this straight jenny, you wouldnt name your future daughter, automn ecclesiastes', brother "justice" because you are afraid he would get made fun of???"
well tonight i am free!!! there is a little anecdote than can explain how i feel. one of my less bright friends was at a camporee with me and my other friend and had gotten fond of yelling "freeeeedom!" every now and then. so my friend was driving around the campground in his dad's truck, the kid in the middle and me at the window. we were about to pass these hot girls and of course he lets loose his enthusiastic and unrelentlessly patriotic whoop of "freeeedom!" well, he was about halfway thru when my friend reached over and slapped him full in the face. the girls burst out laughing and he shut up for a while. anyway, subtract the slapping and, well, the girls and you get me and the whoop. and thats how it is now that exams are over. i want to hurry up and give a gurl her dues now because im proud to annouce that lisa got a 98 on her gopo exam so kudos gurl. but anyway, i dont want to know because invariably im paranoid enough to think that its gonna be bad and i have no urge to ruin my christmas break sooo... i wont ask. anyway i better get to the exams or risk writing all night. i hope you people appreciate all this...
well then, wednesday sucked but not as much as monday sucked which sucked almost as much as today but i will get to that later. wednesday came in a pretty box sweet with the frills and aromas of 2 exams that people had said were easy and of which one of them lied. french and chemistry, two of the seemingly forgotten classes, its not history or math or english, but they still count as much. french i came into thinking was going to be easy and truley it was. not bad but not good. just some words and phrases of a language that i will likely never use but only took to spite spanish because i hate spanish. there was no essay (damn the essays!) yeah i know but it still wasnt a piece of cake. we had to know complicated french maneuvers like telling time or figuring out the date or the weather. the way they speak over there, im surprised people just save the energy and just grunt like cavemen and point to the clock or the sky and people generally get the gist. but naw, they grunt and rrroll the r's and all sorts of shit a redneck like me just can't do. sometimes i think the teacher thinks its funny to hear the franglish flow rather choppily from my southern jaws. its just not meant to happen, if i wanted to speak french, i would go to a random resturant in cary and order off the side menu. otherwise, screw it. how many times am i expected to count things in french and hyphenate my numbers 4 times?? its rediculous. maybe its just me, the ignorant american but i think everyone should just speak english because im too lazy to learn their language. they do it all the time, whats the problem? no, really folks, it wasnt that bad. just a few sentences and stories using alloted words (mine was about wes, an orange, a bowl of soup, a camera, and an airplane... you dont want to know) and a little telling time or discribing the weather and its over, just like that... i better have passed...
exam 2 of the day was chemistry. now i had heard mixed reactions coming going in but had yet one coming out (damn!). some said it was hard and long and others thought it was short and easy but generally yeah it sucked. again tell me when im ever gonna be graded again on knowing the atomic mass of chlorine (35.45 amu) or the electron configuration for aluminum? please god tell me why! but alas all that didnt matter when your teacher for the exam is a chemistry teacher which means that in all likelyhood, your exam will suck. mr grunden is cool though so it wasnt that bad. you know, a few balancings, some electron configurations, a few too many dead scientists and philosophers and bam... times up, but i just started! apparently one of the complaints of the test was that it was too long. yeah i can see that seeing as i had only about 5 minutes to listen to my mccartney cd... but it was ok cuz the road and track was about read through anyway so it worked out. the only things i had problems on were the obvious ones. as one friend would say, "i struggle." yeah thats right, i have my blonde moments too, these just happened to be pretty entertaining. i still can't figure out what was wrong with me that day but the story relates the same, hence: i had just finished a problem with heisenbitch or someone and was now on one with the speed of light and plank's constant and all that shit. so i look on my calc. but the stuff's not saved on there like i had planned because they erased the calcs. on the psats we took a while ago... so i go up to grunden and tell him my problem, sounding pretty helpless because i thought i had been violated for not being provided this information. so i ask him if he can write those formulas on the board so we could have them for the test. well, he informs me with a little snicker that there they were on the board. so i stare at the board for about 5 seconds and then he lets me know, right there, in the middle. so i finally see them, written large and in red ink smack in the middle of the board, and subsequently turn a similar shade. he of course lets me know that it, "happens to everyone," sure mr grunden sure. so i go back to my seat thoroughly amused with myself and determined not to make that mistake again. ooh but that was not the last of my blonde roots... a few minutes later, i look up and written on the board were the time tables for the test, 55 minutes for the mc's, and a little infinity sign for the short answers. im thinking he is gonna keep us here till everyone finishes the short answers and get a little worried. so i look and he had taken the clock off the wall! i was like, "jeff man he took the clock off the wall, he's gonna keep us here!" so then jeff, not even looking up from his test, smoothly pointed. i slowly and already knowing the answer, followed his finger straight to the board where directly between the formulas i had just stared at for 5 minutes, hung that damn clock. more mirth and laughter to myself and i think i cried. but that is all behind me now, as is that damn chem exam. burn in hell, chem exam...
whoo, that was interesting but on to today, and dont think im dried up yet, im just starting to go downhill. today sucked as much if not more than that first fateful day of exams. even though it was the last day and invariably i was happy for that, still, 2 powers loomed in the distance. twin towers of schooling, the blocks that education is based on... algebra2 and english. i go in thinking "god save me now please got add some cheese to my cracker i could use it today." well, god didnt abandon me, just let me do my own exams for myself. i had heard more than a few things about this algebra exam this morning, its long, i didnt finish, its hard, the problems are impossible... yeah well screw you guys, bring it on. needless to say i wasnt prepared and at the teacher's advice, skipped the hard problems and did the easy ones... (all 5 or so of them) o well, im thinking, after i graph this seemingly impossible absolute value shit that, again, i will never actually use in real life, i can do that quadramateric thingamajigers over there. yes, people thats how it went. i went for a full hour and 55 horrrible long dark minutes. i would go through, checking ones that were too hard and go back and check again and again until there were no checks left. give me a break though! i dont give a damn that little johny's mom ran a speed trap one day and the cop caught her accellerating instantly whereas when she ran it again, the very next day!, he had to naturally accellerate. but i dont want to bore you people, my audience, just mourn the loss... thats right, that damn test took some of my good compadres. they were still valiantly fighting when i left to go eat lunch and true to their courage some of them made it out eventually, but i could tell they werent the same... my honor goes out to: lisa... wes... danielle... jordan... tom... barrett... lauren... and the many unnamed soldiers of algebra, you will never be forgotten, i swear.
my last, final, or the grand finale, of exams was english. this was the biiiig kahuna, the great demonic force that has haunted more than a few 6th period mate's dreams since monday. yet through their suffering, i have learned how to combat this beast... characters, authors, attributes, and themes. those be the keys you need to open the gate to the vacation beyond. needless to say, we were all still unprepared and probably overly sweaty and giggly with anticipation before that final test, dont deny it... i know i was... haha. yeah whatever but anyway a test is a test so i just had to take it like a man. i juked the first few and got by on technicalities and swift lies, but im still pretty sure they were right, i hope. then the going got tough. "character analysis? attributes? flat, round, dynamic, static, spherical, cubular, conical? what the fuck is all this supposed to mean", i asked myself. then realized that the going was in fact quite easy. i didnt even have to think but about 3-5 minutes to conclude that jean valjean isnt, in fact, a decorated dancer, or that someone is a foil... wait, a foil? a what? o well, its only a few questions like that that can put you over the edge but i think i sufficiantly dodged enough bullets to get by with an honorable mention and a purple heart or two. then, just as i thought it was over... when i thought my task was complete and i had earned my vacation... came the essay (damn the essays!) yes my friends, an essay (damn the essays!) longer and tougher than some cats... an essay (damn the essays!) worthy of the title, "big mac". cept big mac was a triple pounder, there were three parts to choose from. i quickly dove away from the didactic, mimetic, rectangle of doom shit and face to face with the... dum dum duuuuummmm... 4 purposes of fiction. o well, this isnt going to be that hard i said, but it turns out that the 4 purposes of fiction has 4 whole parts... that i only had to choose one of, of course. so i picked laymiz and something called "making people think"... i hope it turned out ok, because just like the gopo essay (damn the essays!) by then i was sufficiently brain damaged and subsequently memory detracted, to not quite remember what happened after that. i hope it went well... after all, i woke up listening to FTJ, and reading a grisham, so i guess i won... won, that is, or at least whipped out that white flag quick enough to not sustain as many battle scars as i thought i would recieve, which is all cool in the end.
so here i am, writing this all down in the sake of all of you and posterity, whichever matters... take my accounts to heart, every word is true and remember the compadres lost in the battles of gopo, french, algebra2, english, chemistry, and band. its been a rough week mate's but we've all pulled through, i commend you all on your hard work and... well... i love you guys... ::tear:: see you after break...
well tonight i am free!!! there is a little anecdote than can explain how i feel. one of my less bright friends was at a camporee with me and my other friend and had gotten fond of yelling "freeeeedom!" every now and then. so my friend was driving around the campground in his dad's truck, the kid in the middle and me at the window. we were about to pass these hot girls and of course he lets loose his enthusiastic and unrelentlessly patriotic whoop of "freeeedom!" well, he was about halfway thru when my friend reached over and slapped him full in the face. the girls burst out laughing and he shut up for a while. anyway, subtract the slapping and, well, the girls and you get me and the whoop. and thats how it is now that exams are over. i want to hurry up and give a gurl her dues now because im proud to annouce that lisa got a 98 on her gopo exam so kudos gurl. but anyway, i dont want to know because invariably im paranoid enough to think that its gonna be bad and i have no urge to ruin my christmas break sooo... i wont ask. anyway i better get to the exams or risk writing all night. i hope you people appreciate all this...
well then, wednesday sucked but not as much as monday sucked which sucked almost as much as today but i will get to that later. wednesday came in a pretty box sweet with the frills and aromas of 2 exams that people had said were easy and of which one of them lied. french and chemistry, two of the seemingly forgotten classes, its not history or math or english, but they still count as much. french i came into thinking was going to be easy and truley it was. not bad but not good. just some words and phrases of a language that i will likely never use but only took to spite spanish because i hate spanish. there was no essay (damn the essays!) yeah i know but it still wasnt a piece of cake. we had to know complicated french maneuvers like telling time or figuring out the date or the weather. the way they speak over there, im surprised people just save the energy and just grunt like cavemen and point to the clock or the sky and people generally get the gist. but naw, they grunt and rrroll the r's and all sorts of shit a redneck like me just can't do. sometimes i think the teacher thinks its funny to hear the franglish flow rather choppily from my southern jaws. its just not meant to happen, if i wanted to speak french, i would go to a random resturant in cary and order off the side menu. otherwise, screw it. how many times am i expected to count things in french and hyphenate my numbers 4 times?? its rediculous. maybe its just me, the ignorant american but i think everyone should just speak english because im too lazy to learn their language. they do it all the time, whats the problem? no, really folks, it wasnt that bad. just a few sentences and stories using alloted words (mine was about wes, an orange, a bowl of soup, a camera, and an airplane... you dont want to know) and a little telling time or discribing the weather and its over, just like that... i better have passed...
exam 2 of the day was chemistry. now i had heard mixed reactions coming going in but had yet one coming out (damn!). some said it was hard and long and others thought it was short and easy but generally yeah it sucked. again tell me when im ever gonna be graded again on knowing the atomic mass of chlorine (35.45 amu) or the electron configuration for aluminum? please god tell me why! but alas all that didnt matter when your teacher for the exam is a chemistry teacher which means that in all likelyhood, your exam will suck. mr grunden is cool though so it wasnt that bad. you know, a few balancings, some electron configurations, a few too many dead scientists and philosophers and bam... times up, but i just started! apparently one of the complaints of the test was that it was too long. yeah i can see that seeing as i had only about 5 minutes to listen to my mccartney cd... but it was ok cuz the road and track was about read through anyway so it worked out. the only things i had problems on were the obvious ones. as one friend would say, "i struggle." yeah thats right, i have my blonde moments too, these just happened to be pretty entertaining. i still can't figure out what was wrong with me that day but the story relates the same, hence: i had just finished a problem with heisenbitch or someone and was now on one with the speed of light and plank's constant and all that shit. so i look on my calc. but the stuff's not saved on there like i had planned because they erased the calcs. on the psats we took a while ago... so i go up to grunden and tell him my problem, sounding pretty helpless because i thought i had been violated for not being provided this information. so i ask him if he can write those formulas on the board so we could have them for the test. well, he informs me with a little snicker that there they were on the board. so i stare at the board for about 5 seconds and then he lets me know, right there, in the middle. so i finally see them, written large and in red ink smack in the middle of the board, and subsequently turn a similar shade. he of course lets me know that it, "happens to everyone," sure mr grunden sure. so i go back to my seat thoroughly amused with myself and determined not to make that mistake again. ooh but that was not the last of my blonde roots... a few minutes later, i look up and written on the board were the time tables for the test, 55 minutes for the mc's, and a little infinity sign for the short answers. im thinking he is gonna keep us here till everyone finishes the short answers and get a little worried. so i look and he had taken the clock off the wall! i was like, "jeff man he took the clock off the wall, he's gonna keep us here!" so then jeff, not even looking up from his test, smoothly pointed. i slowly and already knowing the answer, followed his finger straight to the board where directly between the formulas i had just stared at for 5 minutes, hung that damn clock. more mirth and laughter to myself and i think i cried. but that is all behind me now, as is that damn chem exam. burn in hell, chem exam...
whoo, that was interesting but on to today, and dont think im dried up yet, im just starting to go downhill. today sucked as much if not more than that first fateful day of exams. even though it was the last day and invariably i was happy for that, still, 2 powers loomed in the distance. twin towers of schooling, the blocks that education is based on... algebra2 and english. i go in thinking "god save me now please got add some cheese to my cracker i could use it today." well, god didnt abandon me, just let me do my own exams for myself. i had heard more than a few things about this algebra exam this morning, its long, i didnt finish, its hard, the problems are impossible... yeah well screw you guys, bring it on. needless to say i wasnt prepared and at the teacher's advice, skipped the hard problems and did the easy ones... (all 5 or so of them) o well, im thinking, after i graph this seemingly impossible absolute value shit that, again, i will never actually use in real life, i can do that quadramateric thingamajigers over there. yes, people thats how it went. i went for a full hour and 55 horrrible long dark minutes. i would go through, checking ones that were too hard and go back and check again and again until there were no checks left. give me a break though! i dont give a damn that little johny's mom ran a speed trap one day and the cop caught her accellerating instantly whereas when she ran it again, the very next day!, he had to naturally accellerate. but i dont want to bore you people, my audience, just mourn the loss... thats right, that damn test took some of my good compadres. they were still valiantly fighting when i left to go eat lunch and true to their courage some of them made it out eventually, but i could tell they werent the same... my honor goes out to: lisa... wes... danielle... jordan... tom... barrett... lauren... and the many unnamed soldiers of algebra, you will never be forgotten, i swear.
my last, final, or the grand finale, of exams was english. this was the biiiig kahuna, the great demonic force that has haunted more than a few 6th period mate's dreams since monday. yet through their suffering, i have learned how to combat this beast... characters, authors, attributes, and themes. those be the keys you need to open the gate to the vacation beyond. needless to say, we were all still unprepared and probably overly sweaty and giggly with anticipation before that final test, dont deny it... i know i was... haha. yeah whatever but anyway a test is a test so i just had to take it like a man. i juked the first few and got by on technicalities and swift lies, but im still pretty sure they were right, i hope. then the going got tough. "character analysis? attributes? flat, round, dynamic, static, spherical, cubular, conical? what the fuck is all this supposed to mean", i asked myself. then realized that the going was in fact quite easy. i didnt even have to think but about 3-5 minutes to conclude that jean valjean isnt, in fact, a decorated dancer, or that someone is a foil... wait, a foil? a what? o well, its only a few questions like that that can put you over the edge but i think i sufficiantly dodged enough bullets to get by with an honorable mention and a purple heart or two. then, just as i thought it was over... when i thought my task was complete and i had earned my vacation... came the essay (damn the essays!) yes my friends, an essay (damn the essays!) longer and tougher than some cats... an essay (damn the essays!) worthy of the title, "big mac". cept big mac was a triple pounder, there were three parts to choose from. i quickly dove away from the didactic, mimetic, rectangle of doom shit and face to face with the... dum dum duuuuummmm... 4 purposes of fiction. o well, this isnt going to be that hard i said, but it turns out that the 4 purposes of fiction has 4 whole parts... that i only had to choose one of, of course. so i picked laymiz and something called "making people think"... i hope it turned out ok, because just like the gopo essay (damn the essays!) by then i was sufficiently brain damaged and subsequently memory detracted, to not quite remember what happened after that. i hope it went well... after all, i woke up listening to FTJ, and reading a grisham, so i guess i won... won, that is, or at least whipped out that white flag quick enough to not sustain as many battle scars as i thought i would recieve, which is all cool in the end.
so here i am, writing this all down in the sake of all of you and posterity, whichever matters... take my accounts to heart, every word is true and remember the compadres lost in the battles of gopo, french, algebra2, english, chemistry, and band. its been a rough week mate's but we've all pulled through, i commend you all on your hard work and... well... i love you guys... ::tear:: see you after break...
posted by sunshine at 7:39 PM
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