early this morning i lie in bed thinking...

it would be a nice day to die. or not... maybe i should get in a car wreck and get hurt badly. then maybe i would see god or a gorgeous angel and be reassured. i would wake up in the hospital and discover that people either cared or not and go on living with my new knowledge. life would be sweeter anyway...

that may be the most intelligent thing that has come into my head in a while.

after running out to the trashcan to deliver more trash i looked up at the sky. it was absolutely painfully beautifully incredible in the kind of sense that overpowers you and brainwashes you to be subjected to its beauty. so i went sprinting and leaping about my yard yelling at the sky, taunting the heavens... tempting god. 'come and get me!! come on... take me now!! lets see it god, come on!!'... nothing happened. i hope god isnt too angry at me. i guess ill have time to figure it out... and then again... maybe not. lets see where this life leads shall we?

"tell me all your thoughts on god... and ask her why we're who we are"