im having trouble coming up for air. so ive got things to say to yall. we are all alone. every single one of you reading this is alone. theres nothing you can do about it. go in a dark room, ball up in the corner and admit it to yourself. youre alone. its a solitary life so get used to it. relationships dont last, no matter what your friend says. hell, life doesnt last. sometimes it seems more than worth your while to move the fuck on instead of dealing with all the paperwork ahead. some people say that from birth we start dying. i dont know how true that is but i think that after some events, we are scarred for life. maybe not even scarred... it feels more like cancer sometimes. that from that point on out its going to eat away at you until theres nothing left. eats a hole (and the carnage continues). in case you hadnt noticed, there comes a point, or a person, where emotional stability goes out the window. where one word can change everything. yeah you know its true. someone turned on your lightbulb and then shot spring back into winter. youre alone again... for the night anyway. along with the loss of emotional stability comes the loss of ability to make emotion last. the next morning you will be fine. i hate this. if im sad i at least want to enjoy it for a couple days. being over things in the morning make them seem so much less important when they really are. bitterness is a hard pill to swallow but it can be justifyably deserved by people that go to sleep to early. just try and prove me wrong. when you look inside yourself its dark. youre skin's too thick to let any light in but just thin enough to feel the knife in your back... yeah you know its true. and somehow all the worthwhile effort is wasted. all the good loving is never received and im thinking twice. if only life were rational there wouldnt be so many damn lonely fools out there. loss could be melted down to its intrinsic worth and then realized that it wasnt actually loss at all. this is the life i long to live, if only the emotion would stay the hell out. so get used to being lonely because being lonely isnt necessarily being alone, its just the signal that your cancer is malignant. and so begins the grieving process. it only lasts a short while, compared to a life of it anyway. when you die, you die with everything you came into life with. no material possessions and alone. the grave will get aweful cold after a while. get used to the idea because its fate. where there once was love there exists nothing. no anger, no loss, no hate, no hurt, no baggage, no regrets. then you know youve made it.