bad daydreams
i never have decent thoughts anywhere near any good place to write them down. so i dont write as often as i should.
i have bad daydreams. i was out on the sea-doo saturday - halloween - and didnt drive. im not quite sure why seeing as it is probably the last time out this year and ill just have to pray that i live long enough to drive it again. but i just lounged on the back, not hanging onto anyone, arms spread behind me bracing against the rear sundeck and legs embracing the seat in front of me in a massive static clench that kept me planted when my dad got the urge to make things interesting. its nice out back though when you can close your eyes and just feel the motion and the warmth of the sun and thats when i start dreaming. my sister was driving and although i dont trust her much she was doing a straight line run so i wasnt freaking out or anything. eyes closed i had the idea that since i wasnt holding on if she stopped suddenly i might just go flying off the front. i could feel that simply by realizing it. and i thought - hell - what if i hit a wall. and eyes closed i saw this big shadow we just drove into and felt myself flying and seeing a massive dark cold damp brick wall looming over the lake and myself nothing to do but fly and smack into it at an angle and just... just crumple like a disregarded piece of paper. no bones anymore, just a sack of human stuff. barely conscious i would stick to the wall a second then gravity would take over again and i would plummet back to the water, breaking the surface tension with a ::crack:: just like hitting the wall all over again. and i would float there, a broken person, because it seems to me broken people wouldnt sink as easy.
i dont know why i think these things or why i am never in a good position to write them down because its never nearly as good three days later. i carved my pumpkin early that morning in the forgotten hour of daylight savings. i waited till everyone left for bed then drug it inside, cut it open, cleaned out its innards, and set it on the table and freestyled. i call it the forgotten hour because at two in the morning the clocks roll back to one again and you relive that hour. i carved the pumpkin in the first one-o-clock. so it didnt count in the grand scheme of things. almost like not growing any older. i kept fucking with the pumpkin though and in the end didnt like it terribly much - which is a shame because it is my last halloween at home - maybe i should have carved it with the family. ah well, my sister was being a bitch and my parents were out anyway. fuckit.
i have mixed emotions about william shatner
i am disappointed that kerry lost... and that he was such a pussy and threw the towel in so early. oh well, theres talk that he would have to be classy now if he wants a serious bid in 08. my god, four more years. i dont know how our country will survive four more years of the same shit thats been going on. already we have lost a thousand soldiers in a war that we have been involved in longer than WWI and the economy sucks. bush has no plan for the future. i have a bad feeling we are going to be nuked. he has pissed too many people off. the world hates us. it is agonizing to me that bush should be in office to begin with. how does a man with that intelligence - in a nation of literate adults - get elected to public office? he has never been really good at running things. he ran all his oil companies into the ground - funded and saved by saudi money from his daddy's friends no less. cant even talk correctly. overthrows the afghani government to install a halliburton advisor to 'president' who immediately allows a new natural gas pipeline to be put in. then goes off with a cowboy war on iraq - who had no connection to terror - overthrows it for oil. takes soldiers off the real war on terror. gets soldiers killed, manipulates the government, scares the people to rationalize it all, finds no weapons of mass destruction... and ahh the wmd's. to me it appears this way: bush knew there were no wmd's in iraq but he used it as an excuse to go cowboy and attack them. the nation wasnt entirely sure there wasnt any there so it was ok. he bucks our strong allies and goes it himself putting the entire load on our nation. manpower, aid, money, everything. and we get ourselves into this neo-vietnam and everyone hates us. now, everyone knows iran and north korea has wmd's. so what does bush do? insist on talks... utilizing other nations to our advantage. apparently we cant talk to north korea unless china is there and wont touch iran but will invade iraq no problem. its just a matter of where the weapons are and where the american public thinks they are. and, of course, during all this the saudis are harboring most of the terrorists but they are off limits. they control most of our oil. the saudi royal family invests trillions a year in bush family companies. bush makes $200,000 a year from the government and god knows how many millions from the saudis. so i guess it poses a new question: whos your daddy?
its not that i really liked kerry anyway but that i dont think our nation can survive another four years with this illiterate, cowboy, poor-soldier-cause-of-rich-tax-cut president. please, now is the time, god bless the usa.
i have bad daydreams. i was out on the sea-doo saturday - halloween - and didnt drive. im not quite sure why seeing as it is probably the last time out this year and ill just have to pray that i live long enough to drive it again. but i just lounged on the back, not hanging onto anyone, arms spread behind me bracing against the rear sundeck and legs embracing the seat in front of me in a massive static clench that kept me planted when my dad got the urge to make things interesting. its nice out back though when you can close your eyes and just feel the motion and the warmth of the sun and thats when i start dreaming. my sister was driving and although i dont trust her much she was doing a straight line run so i wasnt freaking out or anything. eyes closed i had the idea that since i wasnt holding on if she stopped suddenly i might just go flying off the front. i could feel that simply by realizing it. and i thought - hell - what if i hit a wall. and eyes closed i saw this big shadow we just drove into and felt myself flying and seeing a massive dark cold damp brick wall looming over the lake and myself nothing to do but fly and smack into it at an angle and just... just crumple like a disregarded piece of paper. no bones anymore, just a sack of human stuff. barely conscious i would stick to the wall a second then gravity would take over again and i would plummet back to the water, breaking the surface tension with a ::crack:: just like hitting the wall all over again. and i would float there, a broken person, because it seems to me broken people wouldnt sink as easy.
i dont know why i think these things or why i am never in a good position to write them down because its never nearly as good three days later. i carved my pumpkin early that morning in the forgotten hour of daylight savings. i waited till everyone left for bed then drug it inside, cut it open, cleaned out its innards, and set it on the table and freestyled. i call it the forgotten hour because at two in the morning the clocks roll back to one again and you relive that hour. i carved the pumpkin in the first one-o-clock. so it didnt count in the grand scheme of things. almost like not growing any older. i kept fucking with the pumpkin though and in the end didnt like it terribly much - which is a shame because it is my last halloween at home - maybe i should have carved it with the family. ah well, my sister was being a bitch and my parents were out anyway. fuckit.
i have mixed emotions about william shatner
i am disappointed that kerry lost... and that he was such a pussy and threw the towel in so early. oh well, theres talk that he would have to be classy now if he wants a serious bid in 08. my god, four more years. i dont know how our country will survive four more years of the same shit thats been going on. already we have lost a thousand soldiers in a war that we have been involved in longer than WWI and the economy sucks. bush has no plan for the future. i have a bad feeling we are going to be nuked. he has pissed too many people off. the world hates us. it is agonizing to me that bush should be in office to begin with. how does a man with that intelligence - in a nation of literate adults - get elected to public office? he has never been really good at running things. he ran all his oil companies into the ground - funded and saved by saudi money from his daddy's friends no less. cant even talk correctly. overthrows the afghani government to install a halliburton advisor to 'president' who immediately allows a new natural gas pipeline to be put in. then goes off with a cowboy war on iraq - who had no connection to terror - overthrows it for oil. takes soldiers off the real war on terror. gets soldiers killed, manipulates the government, scares the people to rationalize it all, finds no weapons of mass destruction... and ahh the wmd's. to me it appears this way: bush knew there were no wmd's in iraq but he used it as an excuse to go cowboy and attack them. the nation wasnt entirely sure there wasnt any there so it was ok. he bucks our strong allies and goes it himself putting the entire load on our nation. manpower, aid, money, everything. and we get ourselves into this neo-vietnam and everyone hates us. now, everyone knows iran and north korea has wmd's. so what does bush do? insist on talks... utilizing other nations to our advantage. apparently we cant talk to north korea unless china is there and wont touch iran but will invade iraq no problem. its just a matter of where the weapons are and where the american public thinks they are. and, of course, during all this the saudis are harboring most of the terrorists but they are off limits. they control most of our oil. the saudi royal family invests trillions a year in bush family companies. bush makes $200,000 a year from the government and god knows how many millions from the saudis. so i guess it poses a new question: whos your daddy?
its not that i really liked kerry anyway but that i dont think our nation can survive another four years with this illiterate, cowboy, poor-soldier-cause-of-rich-tax-cut president. please, now is the time, god bless the usa.
posted by sunshine at 11:02 PM
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