suddenly i see

i was cleaning out my phone yesterday, leaning against an office doorway in the cool of a carmax. i found a good bit from a couple months ago. the sweetest ones, you know. made me sick but in a good way. but i'm always learning and i can laugh at it and that's growing, i suppose. the more i learn, in fact, the funnier it all becomes. i thought a while back i might make a t-shirt that says simply 'i got out'. and it's becoming more true every day.

fucking makes me sick, the things you do to yourself. you don't deserve it.

what the fuck can i do anyway? can i really help anyone? if nobody lets me? can i really be good to anyone?