wilson
on the bathroom wall was written "i love ann coulter." i scratched out the first two words and added a couple. now it reads "ann coulter is going to hell." it's that kind of night.
just... frustrated. i don't get mad, i just frustrate. and hey, i didn't... hold on a sec. i just de-friended a kid i went to high school with because she writes too damn fucking many facebook notes/changes her status and i'm fucking sick of it popping up on the bottom of my screen. it's that kind of night. anyway, and hey, i didn't quite make it a month without posting. it's easier at home anyway. i'm sitting in the coffee shop listening to phish. at least i have that.
ever heard trey anastasio play 'johnny b goode"? you should.
i've been watching espn classic late at night. last night victor 'boom boom' mancini lost by one point on all three scorecards after lasting 15 rounds bleeding from both eyes. i really think i need to find a boxing gym in raleigh this summer and take some lessons. not that i have the money or the effort required to drive out there... i just want to somehow love it because then i know it would all be worth it. and i wish i had money to blow on stupid dangerous shit. because then... after i was done boxing, i'd shower off and ride back home on my black '94 speed triple or '95 daytona, both on ebay right now. only $3500... so cheap and yet so much more than i have.
and there's this thing about the harmonica. yeah, would be fun to play. and the thing about the guitar, which i am merely competent at, not exactly special. maybe i should take a class here next semester, on top of all the other shit i've got lined up. i've never taken a class before, it would probably do me some good.
and you know what? goddamn right i'm jealous. but i will get over it, always do. i'll back you up... bullshit. i want to. i want to want to. i just don't believe it most of the time. i want to believe i'm better than that, that i've learned something, that i'm not so low. but i am. you forget about the times i bought coffee. meh, forget about it. it's stupid anyway.
i'm the goddamn dog chasing the squirrel.
(and i know it too)
in the hall, walking to the pit tonight, she walked past. (with her boyfriend) it was one of those strange moments where i was on the phone walking behind two friends, and she was a good thirty feet away and in a single scan of the hallway, not making eye contact, not even focusing my eyes, i knew exactly who it was. i pretended to ignore her, didn't glance to see if she'd glance back. i doubt she'd acknowledge my presence by now anyway. i finished my message and looked down at the time, fumbled the phone back in my pocked, and pretended to look like i was happy with the hallway and my new jacket and the people i was about to eat dinner with. i can't help but analyze the feelings i get. used to get nervous, but not any more. this time i felt it in my stomach, deep down. not sick, not much of anything. just a little sadness, way down there. just sadness, that's all.
want to hear the worst part? i could smell her all the way to the doorway.
just... frustrated. i don't get mad, i just frustrate. and hey, i didn't... hold on a sec. i just de-friended a kid i went to high school with because she writes too damn fucking many facebook notes/changes her status and i'm fucking sick of it popping up on the bottom of my screen. it's that kind of night. anyway, and hey, i didn't quite make it a month without posting. it's easier at home anyway. i'm sitting in the coffee shop listening to phish. at least i have that.
ever heard trey anastasio play 'johnny b goode"? you should.
i've been watching espn classic late at night. last night victor 'boom boom' mancini lost by one point on all three scorecards after lasting 15 rounds bleeding from both eyes. i really think i need to find a boxing gym in raleigh this summer and take some lessons. not that i have the money or the effort required to drive out there... i just want to somehow love it because then i know it would all be worth it. and i wish i had money to blow on stupid dangerous shit. because then... after i was done boxing, i'd shower off and ride back home on my black '94 speed triple or '95 daytona, both on ebay right now. only $3500... so cheap and yet so much more than i have.
and there's this thing about the harmonica. yeah, would be fun to play. and the thing about the guitar, which i am merely competent at, not exactly special. maybe i should take a class here next semester, on top of all the other shit i've got lined up. i've never taken a class before, it would probably do me some good.
and you know what? goddamn right i'm jealous. but i will get over it, always do. i'll back you up... bullshit. i want to. i want to want to. i just don't believe it most of the time. i want to believe i'm better than that, that i've learned something, that i'm not so low. but i am. you forget about the times i bought coffee. meh, forget about it. it's stupid anyway.
i'm the goddamn dog chasing the squirrel.
(and i know it too)
in the hall, walking to the pit tonight, she walked past. (with her boyfriend) it was one of those strange moments where i was on the phone walking behind two friends, and she was a good thirty feet away and in a single scan of the hallway, not making eye contact, not even focusing my eyes, i knew exactly who it was. i pretended to ignore her, didn't glance to see if she'd glance back. i doubt she'd acknowledge my presence by now anyway. i finished my message and looked down at the time, fumbled the phone back in my pocked, and pretended to look like i was happy with the hallway and my new jacket and the people i was about to eat dinner with. i can't help but analyze the feelings i get. used to get nervous, but not any more. this time i felt it in my stomach, deep down. not sick, not much of anything. just a little sadness, way down there. just sadness, that's all.
want to hear the worst part? i could smell her all the way to the doorway.
posted by sunshine at 12:58 AM
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