even after most people have gone to bed for the night or... blocked me... and after the mournful feelings of solitude and desolation have come and gone and you cant go to sleep because its still much to early, theres really not much to do. ah, not much to do but think. as boring as it may sound, this is the time of night for ruminations, when you can feel free to think and feel what you want without fearing repercussions from the more skeptical of compadres. sometimes its good to think about the stuff that usually goes unnoticed during the day and the things that concern the future and not the past. its quite interesting, really, what you can come up with. may even frighten yourself. but all and all, it can keep you from slipping into a coma when theres no one around...
something i think about a lot and with a lot of sadness is the fact that someday, we will all be living in a metropolis, where we walk to a store to purchase bottled fresh air because there is none left here for the taking, where we will have long long ago sold our houses for large sums of money so an apartment complex that can house 50 times the people can be built on its foundations, and where we have to drive to canada to find people still unconcerned with their land turned to profit. i have always been a hick, i mean at heart at least. born and raised out here where its mostly country, i love it. the simple fact that the city people i see everyday can go to glean potatoes on a field trip and drive out where i reside and make jokes that if they were to get stuck here, it was a slim chance they would survive, wondering if their cell phones would work... i would give anything to be able to live out here when i get older but the sad fact is that it wont be here in a few more years. i literally cant drive down my street without seeing a new subdivision popping up where there used to be tobacco fields, more small imitative homes being inflated at the spot where a cow had been grazing a month before. i mean, the last loop of 540 is gonna go right across the cow/horse field on the hill behind my house in a few years. its really quite depressing to someone like me. i enjoy where i live but soon its just gonna be the southern ghetto of the city. i want to be able to drive to the city in a few minutes but not see a house when i look out my front door. i want to be able to smell the flowers growing beside the driveway instead of the smog from my neighbors ford excursion every morning. i want to be able to watch the clouds some days instead of the news helicopters flying to another bank robbery or car wreck... i dont want to have to worry that the government is gonna forcefully buy out my backyard to cover it in asphalt so the people living in the ghetto can get to the next city 5 minutes quicker. i mean, whats the rush, whats the hurry? why do you need to urbanize these fields for the yankees to move in? money. its all about the money. the damn real estate agents (no offense to the people but damn) and their money. if you can see a place that isnt being currently used to house people then it certainly can be used to house people. either house people or house a business. i was driving out thru the woods west of fuquay a few days ago and smack in the middle of the trees you know what i saw? a sign proclaiming that this land is the future site of a brand new food lion!!! as if the people were bothered enough that the food lion 2 miles away was too busy or is too far to drive to get food once a month, food lion has signed a contract and will build a brand new one right here on top of the deer dens and squirrel nests to suit these few people who dont wish to drive and extra 7 minutes. there are strip malls and gas stations popping up everywhere like zits on an oily face. its a waste of land if it isnt producing a profit... this stuff really pisses me off. right now there is a pond near my house that a few people use for fishing. i can gaurantee that in 10 years every fish in that pond will be dead for all the pollution. in the aforementioned hill with the cows theres gonna be a strip mall so all the people driving to work and saving that 5 minutes can dine on cheap fast food and novelty items at the dollar store. its really sad. and one of the most depressing parts of it is that i really cant do anything about it. there are so many people out there who would rather bulldoze and ask questions later than take a core sample of a tree and find that it has lived through at least 3 wars. i find it disgusting, the greed that infests the masses today...
o well, tonite produced an angry rant, you really never know what you will think when given the chance.