two more things ive noticed lately that i actually remembered to write about. one: ever had a staring contest with a dog? very amusing... if you do it right it can create a horribly uncomfortable and akward situation... for the dog. you really have to set it up right. now first, it has to be a dog. staring contests with birds always end up ugly, usually with the bird's beak in your cornea, its also just too damn hard to look at one small eye when it keeps cocking its head to use the other one. also never never never use a cat. first, they dont give a shit what you look like. cats have their own little agenda, they have much better things to lick and stalk than youre ugly fucking face. ::15 minutes later:: i fucking hate it, that bitch knocked me off the comp again.... anyway, back to the contests. dont try it with a cat, they will hurt you. you will look at them, they will look away, you will stare harder, they will leave quad 6" swaths of pain across your face, trust me, dont stare at a cat. and with dogs you have to choose your targets. usually old dogs dont care unless they're real mellow and friendly and young dogs are too often distracted for it to work. once you find the right dog tho, its great. start off about 10 feet away from the dog. get its attention or just wait till it looks at you. make good hard eye contact so it keeps it, but dont speak or move at all for fear it will walk over and shove its nose in your crotch. o yes, do wear a cup when dog staring contest-ing, it does help. anyway, once you have it locked, keep it that way. look at one eye and dont switch. do not move or speak. you will notice the dog going through stages of awareness and nakedness thats pretty damn funny. first of all the dog will be comfortable, wagging its tail etc... once you show it youre the boss though, it will get more intense. the tail will get slower and slower till it rests on the floor and the dog will be entranced staring at you. do not stop now, it gets better. assuming you dont speak or move, the dog will soon become shifty and look away every now and then. suddenly it cant keep eye contact anymore. ok, stare harder, make that dog uncomfortable. once he cant even look at you anymore, the dog will either roll over and play dead (assuming you were scary enough) or just piss on itself which is all too funny unless you have to clean it up... now remember, one more time, to NOT under any circumstances try this with a cat or you WILL get a free tattoo smack on your le visage (face) for your friends to laugh at you, you moron...

one more thing i thought about, it deals with vision. not normal vision but special vision. im speaking of the underrated art of seeing out of the corner of your eye. you can see things you never saw before, things you would never see normally. theres always that reflection there in the corner of oblivion that somehow reaches you in time to let you notice or warn you of anything at all. bordering on premonition, you can see things you werent meant to, be granted that one instant of warning before the lightning strikes... its magical, really... so use it while you can, dont take sight for granted but dont always use it for obvious purposes, trust me...