just another sleepless night
i posted some spectacular photos from the garner fireworks show on sunday. theres a link on the right to 'photos page'. make great background shots.
i dont usually solicit hits like that but i really like the photos. thats not what i am going to write about though. notice that this is being posted at 12:06PM. yes i saw you just check. thats because i just rolled out of bed. its entirely possible that im not in the correct frame of mind to be writing stuff down but that doesnt bother me. i havent had a good night's sleep in as long as i can remember. bad dreams mostly and i have a terrible habit of remembering them. so i thought i would tell yall bout a couple.
two nights ago (we went out on the lake yesterday, the night before that), i dreamed about being out on the water. this wasnt exactly during the night. my mother woke me up beforehand and i just fell back to sleep. im bad about that too. it was one of those times, however, when i might have drifted in and out of consciousness. i remember rolling over or rearranging the blankets in the light of day before slowing down again and restarting the dream. this was one i think i had particular control over, i think i was either on a sea-doo like ours or a tube and was lazily paddling around to all the other people on the docks, watching what was going on out on the water, i think i was out at the sound though, not at our freshwater lake. i meandered under a dock and around to families laughing and felt like a little kid. sortof let some of that concern, some of that self-awareness fall away like a seven year old would. i just remember not being entirely asleep.
last night i dreamed it was my first day in college. i was in some building with a group of other kids and we were supposed to do some pre-assignment. far as i can tell it was just a... damn. i still dont know. i was confused though and spoke to the professor lady and i ended up researching or writing a paper on some part of the human body. i went through books looking for information on 'skin', that much i know for sure. nasty eh? i couldnt find any information though, one of the books i looked in had 'skin' listed with some other words but it didnt have anything to do with itself so i told her it was cross referencing... yeah. anyway, i was panicked because i didnt have anything to do when i walked down the hall and saw that some of the other prodigies had painted murals or wove something, or were laying down wet paint and all of this other stuff and were having no problems and were enjoying it and it made me feel ridiculously retarded. i think i wanted to cry. the next thing i remember i was out in the middle of a field with a basketball and my parents. this was at the intersection of ten-ten and lake wheeler. we were going to my new job, the work-study one. my dad asked me if i ever did that pre-assignment and i told him i didnt. he didnt act too concerned but seemed to think that if i didnt do it then i would lose my good job and end up juggling basketballs with this terrible chinese man (like he did, i think). we walked down an old road - i was having difficulties dribbling this old, dirty basketball - and came to an old farm. we went inside the barn and met an old farmhand man. my dad was explaining my situation. i felt like a little kid.
sometime this morning, in the light of day, i was in night. i dont know the situation or the premise but it was dark and i was on a small mountain with small trees. i was with a girl. dont know who she was or what she looked like. something was going to happen, or we were bored, so we put down large green tiles between the trees. maybe the soil wouldnt wash away. it was hard, though, on this mountain, because my left ankle hurt badly. this isnt just the dream, it physically hurt. i remember. my father came and was dismayed that we had done all that. i followed him off the mountain and out in front of my grandmothers house because he was leaving for work. he tried to tell me goodbye but i couldnt pay attention to him. i tried to but just couldnt. i sensed that he was feeling neglected but wasnt going to do anything about it and i hated it. i felt like such a bastard and hoped to god that he wouldnt die before he got home again because i didnt give him a good goodbye. i was sitting on a wooden bench in front of my grandmothers house.
i hate this post already
i dont usually solicit hits like that but i really like the photos. thats not what i am going to write about though. notice that this is being posted at 12:06PM. yes i saw you just check. thats because i just rolled out of bed. its entirely possible that im not in the correct frame of mind to be writing stuff down but that doesnt bother me. i havent had a good night's sleep in as long as i can remember. bad dreams mostly and i have a terrible habit of remembering them. so i thought i would tell yall bout a couple.
two nights ago (we went out on the lake yesterday, the night before that), i dreamed about being out on the water. this wasnt exactly during the night. my mother woke me up beforehand and i just fell back to sleep. im bad about that too. it was one of those times, however, when i might have drifted in and out of consciousness. i remember rolling over or rearranging the blankets in the light of day before slowing down again and restarting the dream. this was one i think i had particular control over, i think i was either on a sea-doo like ours or a tube and was lazily paddling around to all the other people on the docks, watching what was going on out on the water, i think i was out at the sound though, not at our freshwater lake. i meandered under a dock and around to families laughing and felt like a little kid. sortof let some of that concern, some of that self-awareness fall away like a seven year old would. i just remember not being entirely asleep.
last night i dreamed it was my first day in college. i was in some building with a group of other kids and we were supposed to do some pre-assignment. far as i can tell it was just a... damn. i still dont know. i was confused though and spoke to the professor lady and i ended up researching or writing a paper on some part of the human body. i went through books looking for information on 'skin', that much i know for sure. nasty eh? i couldnt find any information though, one of the books i looked in had 'skin' listed with some other words but it didnt have anything to do with itself so i told her it was cross referencing... yeah. anyway, i was panicked because i didnt have anything to do when i walked down the hall and saw that some of the other prodigies had painted murals or wove something, or were laying down wet paint and all of this other stuff and were having no problems and were enjoying it and it made me feel ridiculously retarded. i think i wanted to cry. the next thing i remember i was out in the middle of a field with a basketball and my parents. this was at the intersection of ten-ten and lake wheeler. we were going to my new job, the work-study one. my dad asked me if i ever did that pre-assignment and i told him i didnt. he didnt act too concerned but seemed to think that if i didnt do it then i would lose my good job and end up juggling basketballs with this terrible chinese man (like he did, i think). we walked down an old road - i was having difficulties dribbling this old, dirty basketball - and came to an old farm. we went inside the barn and met an old farmhand man. my dad was explaining my situation. i felt like a little kid.
sometime this morning, in the light of day, i was in night. i dont know the situation or the premise but it was dark and i was on a small mountain with small trees. i was with a girl. dont know who she was or what she looked like. something was going to happen, or we were bored, so we put down large green tiles between the trees. maybe the soil wouldnt wash away. it was hard, though, on this mountain, because my left ankle hurt badly. this isnt just the dream, it physically hurt. i remember. my father came and was dismayed that we had done all that. i followed him off the mountain and out in front of my grandmothers house because he was leaving for work. he tried to tell me goodbye but i couldnt pay attention to him. i tried to but just couldnt. i sensed that he was feeling neglected but wasnt going to do anything about it and i hated it. i felt like such a bastard and hoped to god that he wouldnt die before he got home again because i didnt give him a good goodbye. i was sitting on a wooden bench in front of my grandmothers house.
i hate this post already
posted by sunshine at 12:06 PM
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