out of my hands for now

i am sorry. both for myself and my absence. as for the extended period of time since my last post, well the computer died again. in an odd twist of fate, the software that crashed it was a backup program my mother bought to protect our files in case the computer crashed. go figure. and as for me, as always, i dont know what to say. its a small tragedy everytime i sit down here these days because all day long theres a streaming monologue in my head, always composing, configuring, and rewording. telling my story over and over again just so i can relay it back. and it always gets lost in translation. i was sitting on the lawnmower planning to write a poem. i would tell you what author i was going to imitate and the subject matter but i figure i still might do it someday so i will save it.

im still looking forward to the days at old wake forest when i will have the option of lying down under a tree on davis field and typing away on my laptop. thats the only reason i want it, to be able to write more on my own timeframe instead of late at night, after everyone else has gone to bed. maybe then yall will have something worthwhile to read. meh, till then its just more bitching about relationships, which seems to be always at the forefront of my mind and imagination. too bad its never good news.