i wish i was rayshawn ross
today was a good day. i wish i could start more posts like that. the goddamn fucking anger of yesterday subsided a bit and some amazing things happened.
i drove out to my grandmother's to pick up some stuff. she's been out in the mountains for a couple days so the house has been uninhabited. i parked kristina behind the house in the driveway and popped my trunk. used the "you toucha my keys, i breaka you face" keys to open the porch door and surveyed my booty. the television was bigger than i thought, will look damned good in my tiny dorm room. unplugged the rabbit ears and power cord and whatnot and managed to stumble out to the car with the 26" beast nestled against my chest. sat it on the lip of the trunk and fineagled it a bit before finding, to my dismay, the damned thing wouldn't fit. stepped on the power cord a couple times, nearly spilling myself on it, before dropping it carefully in the grass to re-evaluate the situation. what a fucking moron. my dad told me to take the truck but i didn't think the fucking thing would be more than 20". stupid fuck. unlocked the house door and wandered around inside, all the way to the back room to pick up an old .22 pump rifle off the top of a cabinet. examined it in the kitchen, checked that it was unloaded, and took it out to the car. laid it in the trunk beside the spare and closed the trunk. found a couple huge plastic bags in one bedroom and laid one down on the right rear seat. lifted the deadweight television and sat it on the lip of the seat, worried about screwing up my leather. had to slide it into place, which neither the seat nor the tv wanted to do. worried more about screwing up my leather.
finally got it leaned in place, the screen to the seatback, and stuffed the other plastic bag between the two. i wonder if anyone saw me. i can only imagine how sketchy it might seem to see a kid drive up to an empty house and walk out with a big television and a rifle, drive away. the cops never found me anyway. i left a note written on a paper towel thanking my grandmother for her donation to my room being the best for watching the sopranos sunday nights. drove on out through the country tailed by an asshole in a chevy work van with pittsburgh steeler front plates all the way to the library where i found yet another book i wanted but didn't get cause i'm full up anyway.
ended up having coffee with danielle and talking for hours and hours. what a wonderful kid.
and the most wonderful thing of all... when i explain it to friends they say it's creepy... but i didn't feel that so much as a wonderful sense of rightness that wasn't so much coincidence as a good omen. before i left the house today i told an amazing friend that i "love you always", which isn't something i usually say. in fact, i may have never told anyone that before. i was driving a swath through the country, hitting the road i would have taken anyway after getting gas. driving around, heading down a hill towards a dead end and stop sign in the country when i saw something on the road. i stopped, turned right instead of left, turned around, drove back to the intersection {there was nobody around, it's out in the country}, turned back up the road, turned around again, and slowly approached for the second time. and... it was what i thought it was. somebody had written, in huge spraypainted letters across the road "i love you always".
i can't help but feel something because of that. something's right with the world, with what i said. that i meant it. i think it's understood, too. it's not creepy, it's wonderful. it's beautiful.
i drove out to my grandmother's to pick up some stuff. she's been out in the mountains for a couple days so the house has been uninhabited. i parked kristina behind the house in the driveway and popped my trunk. used the "you toucha my keys, i breaka you face" keys to open the porch door and surveyed my booty. the television was bigger than i thought, will look damned good in my tiny dorm room. unplugged the rabbit ears and power cord and whatnot and managed to stumble out to the car with the 26" beast nestled against my chest. sat it on the lip of the trunk and fineagled it a bit before finding, to my dismay, the damned thing wouldn't fit. stepped on the power cord a couple times, nearly spilling myself on it, before dropping it carefully in the grass to re-evaluate the situation. what a fucking moron. my dad told me to take the truck but i didn't think the fucking thing would be more than 20". stupid fuck. unlocked the house door and wandered around inside, all the way to the back room to pick up an old .22 pump rifle off the top of a cabinet. examined it in the kitchen, checked that it was unloaded, and took it out to the car. laid it in the trunk beside the spare and closed the trunk. found a couple huge plastic bags in one bedroom and laid one down on the right rear seat. lifted the deadweight television and sat it on the lip of the seat, worried about screwing up my leather. had to slide it into place, which neither the seat nor the tv wanted to do. worried more about screwing up my leather.
finally got it leaned in place, the screen to the seatback, and stuffed the other plastic bag between the two. i wonder if anyone saw me. i can only imagine how sketchy it might seem to see a kid drive up to an empty house and walk out with a big television and a rifle, drive away. the cops never found me anyway. i left a note written on a paper towel thanking my grandmother for her donation to my room being the best for watching the sopranos sunday nights. drove on out through the country tailed by an asshole in a chevy work van with pittsburgh steeler front plates all the way to the library where i found yet another book i wanted but didn't get cause i'm full up anyway.
ended up having coffee with danielle and talking for hours and hours. what a wonderful kid.
and the most wonderful thing of all... when i explain it to friends they say it's creepy... but i didn't feel that so much as a wonderful sense of rightness that wasn't so much coincidence as a good omen. before i left the house today i told an amazing friend that i "love you always", which isn't something i usually say. in fact, i may have never told anyone that before. i was driving a swath through the country, hitting the road i would have taken anyway after getting gas. driving around, heading down a hill towards a dead end and stop sign in the country when i saw something on the road. i stopped, turned right instead of left, turned around, drove back to the intersection {there was nobody around, it's out in the country}, turned back up the road, turned around again, and slowly approached for the second time. and... it was what i thought it was. somebody had written, in huge spraypainted letters across the road "i love you always".
i can't help but feel something because of that. something's right with the world, with what i said. that i meant it. i think it's understood, too. it's not creepy, it's wonderful. it's beautiful.
posted by sunshine at 11:49 PM
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