great escape

i love any excuse to go to the library. i'm a dork, i know. so today, after wasting myself outside and showering and whatnot, i took kristina out. i rolled the windows down because the a/c is fucked and it was pretty damn hot out and as i was exiting the driveway the lyrics came out of the stereo "take a breath of fresh air" and at that moment a stiff breeze blew through the entire car so i did. sign of good things. it was a day for driving slow, though, really. resting the turbo a little bit. enjoying good music and singing. once, it started raining those big fat lonely drops that usually precede the smaller steady raindrops of a good shower. i rolled the passenger window up but kept mine down until i had to. it slacked up so i never did. when it started, i stuck my nose out the window and breathed deep the smell of the rain. i've always wondered why it smelled so much like rust. maybe that's a pavement thing. maybe i'm always around pavement.

it started raining harder but still wasn't more than a strong drizzle so i decided to keep my window down until i got to the library. i pulled into the back lot like i always do. one of these days they will tow my sorry ass for parking in the town hall's parking spaces but until then i will defy them. it's just the kind of rebel i am. park in the "not library parking" spaces. as i was walking down the cement sidewalk under the dripping hardwood branches, i saw myself in the tinted doors and thought i looked pretty good. i've always been touched with a little taste of narcissism. i was carrying a book of my mother's to return so i flipped it to the backside so no one would see my carrying it and discreetly slipped it in the return under the front desk. walked around the corner to the shelves where they keep all the requested stuff. found my name and my two books, vonnegut and vowell, and started walking away when i realized the books beside my books were requested by what looked like a familiar name. some kid i knew from scouts years and years ago. so i stood there for a while, books in hand, reading the names. like an irreverent mourner at the vietnam memorial. all these names that looked familiar. i guess it was a miracle that i didn't see anyone there i knew.

that's when the girl walked in. i didn't know her and didn't really see her but she walked past me with such a purpose back toward the part of the library where the magazines were. i didn't ever go back there so i looked over and saw she was walking towards a door. i started walking to check out my books but i looked back once more to see if it was an "employees only" door... and she looked back. we didn't make eye contact or anything, i looked away too quick, she probably wasn't even looking at me. she was young, sort of plain looking... i don't know. i checked out and as i walked out i could see in a door that she was bent over a computer doing something. library stuff. i always thought i wanted a job there. not because of her, though. even though that was an interesting diversion.

i'm writing earlier tonight than i usually do but it's still far too late. we are flying out in the morning, escaping to the great west. in fact, i have to be awake at... are you ready for this?... 3:30am. i think that is the earliest i have ever had to intentionally be awake to start my day. all to make our first flight before seven. first of three. this will probably break my streak of writing every day too, certainly the best since i started. unless i'm blessed with wireless in wyoming. i don't think they have that in the park, though. without tv's... i doubt it. i will have the laptop with me, though, so doubtless i will write things while i'm out there. fuck, i'm even excited about flying on a plane. lots and lots of words nobody will care about. but anyway, pray that i return, thanks.

and with that i make my great escape.