put out the fire on us
i wish...
and i wish you knew what i was thinking of...
the tv is five decibels too loud but maybe just because it's a commercial with a guy explaining what's happened on nbc soaps this week. he doesn't know that, when explained, soaps are the dumbest things on god's green earth. it's mostly dark. there are twenty eight sources of light that i can see from here, and the reflections of two more. i scan my buddy list and find only one person i'd love to have send me a message but she doesn't. i don't really know her anyway, just like to. the cheese cubes are getting old and i'm running low on milk. the guy on leno doesn't understand that dancing and lip-synching isn't impressive. i can tell muted.
earlier, i walked out to the top of the dunes with my mother and looked around. the first thing i saw was the tripod - a la war of the worlds - sitting in the ocean. i didn't see anyone aboard. the waves were breaking on it's legs. like a lifeguard stand from our mechanized future. there were pipes laying down the beach as far as i could see, rusted metal, four feet across. i asked my mother why they couldn't make prettier pipes. two big, complicated ships rumbled away.
forty minutes ago, i eased back the curtains and saw lights over the dunes. eerie. i went in my room, put on my shoes, and found my camera. unlocked the sliding door, closed it behind me, and slipped out into the courtyard. the lights were coming from a big, rumbling disaster offshore. spotlights everywhere, scanning the water. moving slowly, west to east. a single blinking light off the stern a hundred yards or so. i took to the shadows by habit and walked all the way to the fence. my camera didn't like the darkness without a flash, and preferred to be frustrating. looking back, i probably should have forced the iso up a good bit and seen what happened. didn't think of it then, though. i stood at the fence for a while before walking down to the well-lit (which bothered me) beach entrance. i made sure, walking out there, to turn off the redeye on my camera so there wouldn't be a red light on the front. after a while, i wandered back along the fence and stood a little while longer. the tripod (which had mysteriously moved out into the surf earlier, while i was watching) was now beached and listing seaward. there were spotlights all over the beach near it. i stood by the fence and saw someone walking towards me from about 40 yards off. i put the camera away and watched the ship some more, paying attention to every step they took. i was sure they'd come confront me about something or another, but the security guard woman walked on past and continued on around the complex. almost odd, considering we were the only two people out there.
i noticed three men on the fifth floor watching me as i walked back.
the jeep is running better. a couple days ago, after deconstructing and reassembling the steering wheel a couple times, we got down to the carburetor. the choke was stuck open for some reason (it's supposed to be mostly closed, aside for an 1/8" or so, when cold... opens when the engine heats up). this was why it was so damn difficult to start... one reason anyway. fiddling with it didn't help at all. we got it started with help from the truck and adjusted the idle screw on the back till she idled about 700 rpm. this is up from 400 or so it was at, no wonder it would keep dying in the middle of turns when she was cold. from there, screwed in the two front screws all the way (it died again, a good sign - our carb is probably dirty but not that dirty) and then out 1 1/2 turns to see where we stood. it ran rough and a little slower than 700 so we screwed them out another turn and it seemed happier. it was nice to have her running smoother and healthier so we took her out for a run around the neighborhood to which she responded wonderfully, which was encouraging. shouldn't have had to had the screws out that far, though, so we're looking into a new carb. also checked the fuses for that damn closed circuit but didn't find anything. just have to keep the battery disconnected when not in use... we did pull all the radio wires so maybe that's it... who knows?
i just hope if i have to take summer school at state, that it will be in good enough condition to drive out there every day. i think i'll spend a good amount of time at starbucks, although maybe only on lab days. still... three hours? too much time to waste.
i need to kill these daydreams of apartments. save them for next year anyway. there's one good one, though, but it involves a senior girl i'll probably never meet, bad circumstances for her, being in the right place at the right time, having an apartment, and some strange and unlikely things happening. still, it ends up happily for everyone. i haven't yet learned that daydreams can turn into reality but only if i do something about it. i prefer to pretend i don't know that.
i keep thinking i should live while i'm young. makes me think of joining a gym near state and boxing after class. buying that goddamned motorcycle and being dangerous (even though i'm convinced i wouldn't be). i don't know quite how that will work, seeing as i have no money (at all) but i guess that's what jobs were made for. i usually think of an old speed triple or ducati monster but i saw this '95 daytona on ebay a couple days ago that's just stolen my heart. black, of course. the two headlights remind me of a robot. not too much plastic, but a more comfortable amount. there's always the gsx-r, r6, and cbr... but those feel almost... cliche. who the fuck knows? i have no money.
anyway, i love you but i'm learning not to. it's ok, i guess nothing will change.
and i wish you knew what i was thinking of...
the tv is five decibels too loud but maybe just because it's a commercial with a guy explaining what's happened on nbc soaps this week. he doesn't know that, when explained, soaps are the dumbest things on god's green earth. it's mostly dark. there are twenty eight sources of light that i can see from here, and the reflections of two more. i scan my buddy list and find only one person i'd love to have send me a message but she doesn't. i don't really know her anyway, just like to. the cheese cubes are getting old and i'm running low on milk. the guy on leno doesn't understand that dancing and lip-synching isn't impressive. i can tell muted.
earlier, i walked out to the top of the dunes with my mother and looked around. the first thing i saw was the tripod - a la war of the worlds - sitting in the ocean. i didn't see anyone aboard. the waves were breaking on it's legs. like a lifeguard stand from our mechanized future. there were pipes laying down the beach as far as i could see, rusted metal, four feet across. i asked my mother why they couldn't make prettier pipes. two big, complicated ships rumbled away.
forty minutes ago, i eased back the curtains and saw lights over the dunes. eerie. i went in my room, put on my shoes, and found my camera. unlocked the sliding door, closed it behind me, and slipped out into the courtyard. the lights were coming from a big, rumbling disaster offshore. spotlights everywhere, scanning the water. moving slowly, west to east. a single blinking light off the stern a hundred yards or so. i took to the shadows by habit and walked all the way to the fence. my camera didn't like the darkness without a flash, and preferred to be frustrating. looking back, i probably should have forced the iso up a good bit and seen what happened. didn't think of it then, though. i stood at the fence for a while before walking down to the well-lit (which bothered me) beach entrance. i made sure, walking out there, to turn off the redeye on my camera so there wouldn't be a red light on the front. after a while, i wandered back along the fence and stood a little while longer. the tripod (which had mysteriously moved out into the surf earlier, while i was watching) was now beached and listing seaward. there were spotlights all over the beach near it. i stood by the fence and saw someone walking towards me from about 40 yards off. i put the camera away and watched the ship some more, paying attention to every step they took. i was sure they'd come confront me about something or another, but the security guard woman walked on past and continued on around the complex. almost odd, considering we were the only two people out there.
i noticed three men on the fifth floor watching me as i walked back.
the jeep is running better. a couple days ago, after deconstructing and reassembling the steering wheel a couple times, we got down to the carburetor. the choke was stuck open for some reason (it's supposed to be mostly closed, aside for an 1/8" or so, when cold... opens when the engine heats up). this was why it was so damn difficult to start... one reason anyway. fiddling with it didn't help at all. we got it started with help from the truck and adjusted the idle screw on the back till she idled about 700 rpm. this is up from 400 or so it was at, no wonder it would keep dying in the middle of turns when she was cold. from there, screwed in the two front screws all the way (it died again, a good sign - our carb is probably dirty but not that dirty) and then out 1 1/2 turns to see where we stood. it ran rough and a little slower than 700 so we screwed them out another turn and it seemed happier. it was nice to have her running smoother and healthier so we took her out for a run around the neighborhood to which she responded wonderfully, which was encouraging. shouldn't have had to had the screws out that far, though, so we're looking into a new carb. also checked the fuses for that damn closed circuit but didn't find anything. just have to keep the battery disconnected when not in use... we did pull all the radio wires so maybe that's it... who knows?
i just hope if i have to take summer school at state, that it will be in good enough condition to drive out there every day. i think i'll spend a good amount of time at starbucks, although maybe only on lab days. still... three hours? too much time to waste.
i need to kill these daydreams of apartments. save them for next year anyway. there's one good one, though, but it involves a senior girl i'll probably never meet, bad circumstances for her, being in the right place at the right time, having an apartment, and some strange and unlikely things happening. still, it ends up happily for everyone. i haven't yet learned that daydreams can turn into reality but only if i do something about it. i prefer to pretend i don't know that.
i keep thinking i should live while i'm young. makes me think of joining a gym near state and boxing after class. buying that goddamned motorcycle and being dangerous (even though i'm convinced i wouldn't be). i don't know quite how that will work, seeing as i have no money (at all) but i guess that's what jobs were made for. i usually think of an old speed triple or ducati monster but i saw this '95 daytona on ebay a couple days ago that's just stolen my heart. black, of course. the two headlights remind me of a robot. not too much plastic, but a more comfortable amount. there's always the gsx-r, r6, and cbr... but those feel almost... cliche. who the fuck knows? i have no money.
anyway, i love you but i'm learning not to. it's ok, i guess nothing will change.
posted by sunshine at 12:27 AM
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