wow its been a while... though, isnt it always this way? im getting lazy so im sorry that i dont write shit cept twice a month but at least i still hear of people reading it so ill keep up the charades... anyway, today was easter, a good day. a good day for christians and a happy day for about everyone (unless youre an iraqi that is). so, like every sunday im here, i went to church. today was different though... easter does something to people. everyone within 30 miles comes to church. all the parents in their suburbans bring all their chocolate-high kids to trash the house of the lord to "get religion" etc. easter also makes people dress in rediculous bright colors. somehow it makes parents believe it really is spring (even though that was a month ago) and that even if its as dead and cold outside like it usually is, that somewhere embarrased brightly colored flowers are blooming and/or crazy fucked up rabbits on weed are laying eggs engraved with funny happy colorful patterns. yes, rabbits on weed laying eggs, it overcomes these parents like a sickness. so of course all the parents go out and buy their children new shoes and dresses for the girls and the unlucky guys. for themselves, or at least for my mom, they would delve deep into their closets, way back to the year 1985 to find such atrocities as hot magenta dresses with little white sweaters to wear over them. or maybe a toned down lethargicly light yellow sundress with little flowers and, of course, egg laying rabbits printed on it. if you were lucky like me, you would attempt to blend into the background of all these flowers and slip past the parental radar in contrasting colors (it makes shapes harder for them to see) like a light yellow-tan plaid shirt, dark green pants with no belt, and brown shoes. if you wear dark earthy tones that conflict and stand perfectly still, sometimes the parents will miss you all together. that is, unless you were stupid enough to wear cologne on a day like this in which case you would be inevitably sniffed out in a matter of seconds, possibly getting lipstick smeared on your crotch in the process as your heavily makeup laden mother runs her nose up your leg to your chin. now, if you manage to get out of the house in such unembarrassing clothes, you are luckier than 93% of american children... yes those be the ones in the egg laying rabbit sundresses. next job, find parking. now like i mentioned before, on a day like this, all the moms in suburbans (which take 2 parking spaces by themselves to negate their gravitational pull towards the assorted geo's and dusters that get sucked into their tailpipes) will be trying to park all willy nilly around the lot. sometimes the only way past this is to cheat. again, i got lucky and scooted the liberty into a special needs spot near the back side entrance to the wing we rarely use. my parents called me a hero. so, once we were sure it was safe to get out of the car, (this was after we were boxed in by minivan on the left, a saturn on the grass in front, a suburban on the right, and about 3 expeditions behind us) we carefully climbed out the sunroof... we didnt have a sunroof before that blimp dropped those large chocolate bunnies over the town... and scampered through the cracks in sheetmetal to the door. what fun. we then got split up so i headed for the sunday school class and my mother and father, armed with a machete, pushed through to theirs with my sister in tow. sunday school was much larger than usual (10 people wow) so i blended in with the couch and almost fell asleep. after that fun time and a half was over i climbed out the window and made my way back out to the liberty for supplies. of course, by then scary little kids with chocolate lined mouths had gone in thru the new sunroof and looted the entire suv of food and water... i perilously and dejectedly climbed back in the building and knocked a couple of them flat to get to the dry water fountain. i then found the bathroom and got in a stall (there were only 3 trying to climb the walls) and almost cried... time for church. when i finally made it there, i was happy to find my dad had valiantly saved me a seat with his machete so i sat down. then of course, those imported chairs arrived and were quickly installed in all the rows and this other scary bald man (he's really a good guy) sat down beside me and started chatting like a choco squirrel. i thought he got fired. anyway, i just sat there with my arms crossed trying to forget everything when we had to sing. now, with all this many people, singing didnt go well. after all, we arent baptists... so after we attempted to read something off the overhead (all the foreigners who flew in from overseas for this messed it up) we just sat and waited to give some money to the church, after all, what else is all the rest of it for? haha just kidding, nobody actually really gives money but it ends up in the bowls anyway, strange. let me tell you though, from my tall vantagepoint, all the colors would either give you a seizure or make you cry and sing halleluja, which we tried... it didnt work. now after the sermon... the long long long sermon (it was about laughing)... (i didnt laugh) we attempted to sing some more and after that we tried the halleluja chorus which of course is beautiful but everyone got lost after 1 of the 400 verses and we just stood there like trained apes with our mouths hanging open and watched our actual choir do a mediocre rendition of it. it wasnt that bad but im sure therve been better done somewhere. well after that, i made it back out to the fresh heavily exhaust fumed air (damn suburbans) and hacked my way through the dusters to our liberty again, which i proceeded to drive over all the smaller cars on our way out the lot. as i drove down the road i glanced back at the nearly averted mele (the building blew up) and did a quick prayer to the lord for this day was truely as amazing as it was supposed to be.