pious lightbulbs

fed the dog late tonight so i got to enjoy the cold. reminds me of a magic shell the way i can step outside and the night air freezes cold and hard on my skin. just the skin, just a shell-shock, not deep enough or enough time for it to be really... cold. cold-souled, which i might be but only in a metaphorical sense... que? dog was angry anyway cause its late and she knows it. its typical the stars are out for the chill. the chill's out for the stars.

stars, so honest. little pious lightbulbs spotlighting me. tiny gods all far off and critical. it hurts the way they stare back so richly and helpless i am, jesus, cant fuck with the stars... keep the rythm of my steps to the pulse of the three cell-towers on the horizon. wonder, we dont get service. nowhere id rather be than the bottom of the deep blue sea... why?

cause this room smells like cat piss. damn cats. at least one of them hides under the christmas tree so the other wont find it. im tired. still so much shit to do. im still not into college yet. slacker, i know. yall leave me here alone, its an all night thing. love is just like a movie. i feel like im losing sight in my left eye. hurts to know that.

i never have anything to write about anymore. natural beauty is wearing thin. except that i feel like i should start new years day and take a picture from my front porch every night of the sunset over the street and make some kind of coffee-table book from it. yeah that would be nice. god i wish i were elsewhere, up north, down somewhere. not thinking. leaning up against someone warm that appreciated that i was there. who the hell needs anything more? my shadows the only thing that walks beside me. i walk alone. sad eh?

i used to be able to put so many words on a page but not anymore. maybe something's changed. maybe me. its all blue. theres something wrong with me, jesus, such a basketcase...