closer

its funny... how a movie can fuck with your head. just some odd time when it compounds all the feeling blowing around through my body. all the desires, hopes... love. makes me quiet.

i hate to say it. i hate to think it, to feel it, to care. but i do. and i also hate not to care. just the way i am. i hope you are doing alright. now fuck yourself and die.

i also hate to say it but now would be a terrible time to own a motorcycle. oh boy. because tonight, i would get dressed and leave. just go and ride somewhere in the dark. not even fast, really, just out in the wind and black. going nowhere. and i can't picture any better escape than on that goddamn motorcycle. that fucking bike, out in the open. the thrumbing of the motor, below and between me, the headlight right ahead. no seatbelts, no radio, no other people, no wasted space. roll it up the hill and out to the street to kickstart it, not be disturbing. cut the motor halfway down my street, maybe the headlight too, coast home. just around out in the country. the dark and me and some willing soulful machine.