music for strings and percussion

i don't know why i do this to myself. late night with the shining soundtrack. i would go berserk if i didn't have the tv on. or if my sister wasn't watching tv in the next room with the lights on. this just kills me. i just about jumped out of my chair right there. i swear to god, someday when i'm a creepy middle-aged guy making a production out of halloween in our neighborhood, this is the music that's gonna be blaring from the speakers around my house. i had the idea to write while listening to this while driving to the library earlier tonight. felt like a good idea if i could close my eyes and start having visions based on the orchestra. i don't think i could survive it, though. new idea: whenever i get an apartment, i'll lay in the middle of the floor late at night with all the lights off and listen to this. see what i can see. i swear to god i don't think i'd make it through. first time i tried this without anyone else downstairs, i think i got through one and a half songs. that's it.

i also meant to write a song tonight. i've been listening to a lot of good music lately, most of it i could, in some capacity, play for myself. good lyrics too, and god knows that's half the equation. never time, though. i get snippets of ideas throughout the day, no more than a rhyme or a line or an idea but never a complete one. i don't really know how to write a song. music first? words? at the same time? what do i write about? everyone writes about their girl, which seems fair but trite. folds can write characters' life stories and get away with it, same with b&s. oberst and arcade fire delve political. is there some middle ground? i'd love to get away with something "thirteen" or "modern rock song" ish. just epic. i could handle that, not too much range involved anyway. wouldn't want to outdo meself. the only time i can put it all together is laying in bed with the lights out. i had the same problem last fall writing short stories. 4am in my room, lights out, and i'd write stories to put myself to sleep. it's even harder to write songs... what with the guitars being noisy and downstairs at that. it's usually the music that falls into my head first, but i don't know why. i don't know. if i ever actually come up with something, i'll write about it.

i am never ever visiting the rocky mountains. ever.

my uncle was joking with my dad yesterday about going to my older cousin's graduation at uva. he gets emotional and sentimental about things like leaving school and busting into the real world. my uncle kept saying he really wanted to tell him that those years really were the rest of his life. that it's all downhill from there. nose to the grindstone and whatnot. enjoy the long slow descent towards retirement. not really what i'd hoped to hear. two things ran through my head. either i graduate wake and look to enter another school with hopes of extending those mystical college years a little further (think pharm) or i actually get a job that wouldn't be a decline at all. the problem is - and i know this is common - i can either do something i really enjoy for a living, maybe one or two things, and be poor or i can (this is where i stopped listening last time, right here) do something that makes money for a living and enjoy all the things i like but in my spare time. in fact, i guess i could go about finding something that really does incorporate a lot more of my interests... but a world-roving motorcycle photojournalist who's also in a band and does outdoor sports on the weekends is kind of a niche position. in fact, i'm pretty sure most of those have been filled. and i'm not sure a BS in HES at wake will do much to push me towards that. i have two years left. oh, and film. i'd love to do films while i'm at it. roving motorcycle/classic car filmojournal films. in 35mm. in europe.

{with somebody}

know how to make funny commercials terrifying? this soundtrack.

then again, anyone with the name gyorgy ligeti is bound to make horrifying music.

fire drills. all at the same time. the entire campus. what a string section.

someday i'm gonna blast this in my car, windows down, just to creep people out. maybe just halloween. i think that's acceptable.

i don't think there's any limit to how many times i can write about this but there's a girl in my organic chem class. well, actually there's around 55. but really there's just this one. i won't even go into physical detail except to say that she is exactly my kind of beautiful. and so serene. she carries herself as if she doesn't give a damn about anyone else in the room. head held high. quiet but confident. like an assassin.

oh no. my sister left. downstairs dark. fans on. tv on mute. computer and symphony. the awakening of jacob. as my head asplodes.

i really was just a little scared right there, needed someone to talk to. i flipped to my buddy list the instant you signed off. that's a little irony there, that's what that is.