poetry in the dark

i got a letter in the mail today. it was addressed to me by me... as soon as i saw it i understood. he was right, i had completely forgotten about this. a couple months ago in sunday school our teacher had us write a letter to ourselves. im sure i didnt follow the assignment, otherwise what follows might be religiously oriented in some way but isnt... times were a lot different for me back then and it was really odd and wonderful to get back to that. in the couple minutes he gave us i scratched a poem off the top of my head... half the pen didnt even write so i had to judge by the dents in the sheet but hell... it was good to see. a taste of myself from the past even if that past was only ten weeks ago. things are so different now. so understand that, things are different but i dont know. still the same too...


be happy

been two weeks
been two weeks since you left
we havent spoken
i think its for the best
even if it aint love, hun
its still hard to let go
my wonderwall for so long
now youre leaving so slow
if this doesnt hurt you
it might for myself
tears fall on this volume
place it back on the shelf
and up through the years babe
if you might change your mind
i want no lies, just love
because for now im blind


you could say that little thing would relate to the sonnet i just wrote for english class... well it doesnt. two completely different subjects that i guess could be mistaken for the same thing. the sonnet is up for critique of course as thats something i have to turn in and isnt just shit. hell, if i have learned one thing about sonnets its that its easy to write a bad one and a helluva lot harder to write a good one. manipulating metaphors and the english language is fucking complicated at times. so after going over this thing, i utterly hate this poem but i hope you can find a bit more beauty in it than i put there.


had i but known that day must flee its light
and deep beneath this painted smile would dawn
a smoking dusk to preface raging night
this orphan of attraction never sown.
relationships cant function in the dark
and still mine eyes can in the dim light see
your face retreating now without remark,
the fairest countenance and company.
but cautiously would i admit to you
the fault that led to mar your old facade
a darker star whos cracks in you imbue
the queen of hearts became the queen of spades.
mine eyes shut tight to let you walk away,
said i always deserved some brighter days.