ugh, i just wrote an entire damn paper without realizing it was on the wrong subject... ah well i dont feel like tossing it so ill waste the paragraph that sounds most like me here... yall dont have to read it.

Things get proven all the time, whether creating laws or theories or strong hypothesis. The interesting part is what is proven in relation to the scientist. I’m sure there are scientists out there that conduct experiments purely to see what will happen, for the exploration of knowledge. I believe, however, that most scientists are more eager to prove themselves right than to give credit to anyone else. Most of the time you don’t just randomly stick two things together and see what happens. No, you have an idea to fix a problem or create something new and you test it. You tweak it and test it again. You do this until you are correct, until you can have the credit for having the idea that started it all. This may have been the case with Darwin too. I’m not sure which is true but it’s likely that Darwin either had the idea of evolution and worked to prove it or randomly discovered it while studying elsewhere. Of course I’m more inclined to believe that he worked to prove his own idea rather than happen to discover it. There’s really nothing wrong with that but it seems to me that things can get overlooked that way. Things you don’t want to notice because they will skew your results in an unfavorable manner. Just a possibility…

i hit a squirrel today :(

say goodbye says the clown to the bear its morning now and things have changed but for how but for wierd yeah thats the perfect word for this for ourselves in general perfectly agreed upon the strangeness of this operation and do i think of silly things well if it makes you smile then its alright if it will keep you up tonight alright and so what if theres anxiety its all good long as nobody crosses the line you draw yourself in the sand then nobody will get hurt you understand that this is good this is fun this is free and what if i die tomorrow what then will i be happy yes will i have regrets maybe but its not something i worry about should you or should cautiousness reign and beat it all down till its locked away no unless it comes to that and i dont think it will i think this can happen without happening cause as long as nothing happens then its fair game for the guiltless and the vile so tell me is that what you are or what i am and can he take it or will she flip when the papers go extra round town if they do but they wont so theres no worries our friendship is solid now as if it werent before i can still appreciate a new level to run to when i need it /

/ without rhythm and without style the clown sits waits or no the bear with patience because nobody knows and its nice like that to connect like that to feel like that to smile like that and can i wonder enough why things occur and why things build up and fall down and why such synthesis can create such an atmosphere as to bond minds for a little while dont you ever wonder why why why this happens or why you feel like that i do but i cant believe it enough that a call can last longer than its supposed to and still be so sweet and that fur needs just to blow in the wind and look so good bear tell me why its you and i and why she cries and doesnt tell me or why time flies and leaves me behind but you dont mind the whys just endure the goodbyes anything but goodbye i just said hello goodbye

say goodbye says the clown to the bear its morning now and have things changed this is how it should be sha sha not like it matters all being of no consequense i ran when they told me not to run but i sure had fun so im gonna fuck it up again right on right on no snow at the show but you did look warm and comfortable as anyone else and im tied up and twisted the way i like to be just watching and waiting for the cute couple to come back so i could lay down and rest my back you seemed to be good at that youre stomach a trampoline you know it just bounce to get a little higher than the mic up ahead livening up the joint and those people were dancing and drinking and smoking and feeling high like everyone else its wrong not deadly but not right at all no face but too many hands to count and it feels so right crazy you know it too bad you cant deny it and make it all easy but its not so easy no if it were that easy complications wouldnt happen and people wouldnt cry and why was it so comfortable anyway the ground and the sky and bear why were you so unusual and beautiful see the light its day and why anything but goodbye i just said hello goodbye

i dont hate everyone. sometimes the most random and unexpected events can make your day. i was driving to school this morning, just down the road i live off of out in the middle of nowhere and i came upon this new subdivision (fuck new subdivisions) out to the right. there was this little black kid standing there with his bookbag, couldnt have been older than eight or nine, looking bewildered and bored. kindof like he missed the bus or something. the kid just stood there watching all the cars passing, not moving a muscle, strange-like, you know? well im lookin at him, about to pass the subdivision and the strangest thing happened. all of a sudden the kid raises his right arm and waves at me. this little third/fourth grade black kid waved at some random teenage white guy speeding along a country road in his volvo. for a split second, even racial bounderies were crossed, it was wonderful. i was surprised but in a good kind of way. i guess i barely had time to react, kindof akwardly waved back, stiff-like... i hope he caught it though. maybe it made him smile cause about a tenth of a mile down the road, just thinking about the whole damn crazy thing, the biggest smile broke out on my face like the light of day bursting through the clouds. amazing the effects of kind gestures...

Dieu bénit les petits gosses...

if thoughts could kill... i hate people. i hate you all. happy people should die. random days go by and i want to make a list of people who deserve to live. i dont even know if i would be on it. such malice towards people... but really yall just piss me off. everyone who jokes around, who doesnt pay attention, who doesnt give a shit... i hate you. everyone who has it all at their fingertips, who dont worry about time and space... i hate you. and nobody can do anything about it. everything ive said has come out wrong. this really hurts to say. pick me up love, you hear me. not from your mother but someone a tad bit less predictable. when everybody loves you, you can never be lonely. if there was a way to know it im sure i would but finding it is the hard part. sometimes its just not worth it and that makes me sad. the most meaningful music in the world became static in the background of my thoughts today and i hate that too. im not even making a point. annie dreams that everyone is dead.

Wake Forest - 38 ; (11) N.C. State - 24
Quotes of the Day:
"In another surprise, Wake Forest is pounding N.C. State." - ESPN.com, front page
"The Demon Deacons did it again. Wake Forest jumped out early and cruised to a 38-24 win over the Wolfpack, who have lost three of their last four at Groves Stadium." - ESPN.com

ESPN.com article











Whooo hoooo!!!!

sometimes moments just freeze in time. certain random images become burned into your memory like a sienna hot brand molding its form into a wooden plank. the thing is, these moments are completely random. sometimes you can sense that you will want to remember something later: a concert, a cloud, someones face... but it just doesnt work, no matter how hard you try. other times its easy to recall which skirt and top your best friend screened with you before her night out. most of the time, however, these moments are seemingly pointless, left there in the dark corners of your conciousness waiting for you to discover the ounce of hidden significance you hadnt seen there. maybe im overestimating my own intuitiveness; maybe there is no method to the madness and all that we remember will serve no more than to flash before our eyes in the last moments before we die. even so, that brings meaning to it all, so in a way, these moments arent so random in the end...

i was hurried on my way to school today and the short breakfast of a honey bun and chocolate milk wasnt leaving such a great flavor in my mouth. so, like always, i pop a few certs mini mints (three of the tiny blue ones) in my mouth as im driving down the road. little things are like altoids, surprisingly strong mints so as usual i just spit them out the window after my mouth tastes better to avoid the shock of chewing them up and swallowing them. so, going fifty or so, i roll down my window, collect them on the right part of my tongue and prepare to spit them out. i probably should have been watching the road about now but i always like to watch them leaving the car. so heres the moment frozen in time. this vivid picture in my mind. you dont see the mints until they are about at the window, little stars of blue against the gray-black tarmac. little points of light frozen in formation, a constellation in space, a perfect triangle... pyramid style. just floating in space, stuck in their journey to the outside world. it was odd watching them idely sitting there, strangly belligerent, those damn little mints. cocky like they wouldnt let time persist until they were dually noted and appreciated. the moment lasted too long, seconds, hours, days... a lifetime. just... enough to scar. as is typical with these moments, it abruptly ended. suddenly the mints disappeared into the lower atmosphere, leaving behind for a nanosecond those little blue comet tails indicating the direction of their escape. and that was that, having observed all there was to notice, my eyes transferred their focus back to the road while my mind, still on the mints, was still trying to figure out what happened. life is like that sometimes, those moments we may not ever understand will hide themselves in our mental files until further notice. maybe another occurence years from now will spark the rehashing of this mental picture and i can enjoy it all over again. maybe i wont see it again until my last breath...

happy birthday to my blog!! a year and four days old. im so proud of it (seriously i didnt expect to keep writing). thanks yall who read it!

you know those afternoons when youre standing in the basement drinkin a pepsi with the radio in the background beside a freshly waxed car and your dad's out in the driveway washing the truck and youre just standing there thinking about all the deep things in life when suddenly you spill the pepsi all over yourself and everything is funny again... good times...