you know, there are some things that you just dont think about that you should. for example, i was watching seinfeld tonite and they had at least 2 people on there eating cookies and doughnuts with knives and forks. whats up with that? why would you eat a cookie with a fork? then again, why wouldnt you eat a doughnut with a knife? it makes no sense either way. cookies i can usually understand, i mean they are usually small and dry, try eating an oreo with a fork... it just wont work. you would have to scoop it instead of impaling it. if you tried to impale it, you would end up with just frosting. look, try scooping an oreo with a fork and dipping it in milk... you would drop it and have to find it before it contaminates the milk much which gets harder with time as the cookie gets mushier and mushier. its just not feasible. would a spoon be easier? see? its concave and all... but not, thats just stupid. i can understand the doughnut a little better. usually it will have frosting on the outside and usually that frosting is still wet (if its from krispy kreme anyway) and you may want to cut it and eat it with a fork. that seems to work except its just not as much fun with a fork. there is not as much risk of dropping it, which can be a good thing, but wouldnt you like to have a little danger associated with your doughnut? i know i would... that still doesnt cover the spoon. the problem here is that you would have to cut the piece of doughnut small enough to fit in the concave of your spoon. that way, it would slide around in its frosting but wouldnt fall out. but, it would take a really long time to eat the whole doughnut. i dont want to wait to eat my doughnut. which brings me to my next point, what about those people who like dry doughnuts? well well well, who eats dry doughnuts anyway? they are dull and unexciting. they dont slide or look shiny or nothin. the only fun in eating dry doughnuts is what to drink to wet your mouth again after it sucks out all the moisture or how to get that damn powder off your clothes after you sprinkle on yourself... but does this mean that people that eat dry doughnuts are boring? no, we cant judge people like that. it just means they are conservatives... so, in conclusion... conservatives eat dry doughnuts, moderate conservatives eat wet doughnuts with a fork, moderates eat wet doughnuts with a spoon, moderate liberals eat wet doughnuts with their hands, and people like me dont even use those...
hmm next... is it better for people to go ahead and change into their pajamas early in the night or should you wait until you get into bed? now i know a few people that go ahead and change, and i respect them for it. i just think they're wrong... i mean, i can see the point in going ahead and changing. maybe its a little bit more comfortable, maybe they feel a little free-er (for those going commando) or something. hey, its less hassel. when you want to go to bed, you just go. you dont have to worry about remembering to change or something. i mean, how many times have i woken up in the morning and thought, "damn, i forgot to put on my pajamas again..." then again, there are the people like me who wait to change until they go to bed. in some ways it more practical. what if you have to go out to the street for a random reason, in your PAJAMAS!!! that would fairly suck, especially if its cold outside. what if theres a fire (theres a fiiiiiire) and you had to leave or what if you had to drive to the gas station... in your PAJAMAS!!! yes that would freak the hobos out of their minds. also, you may have gotten comfortable in the clothes that you were wearing that day. i dont reccoment sleeping in socks but if you swing that way, then go for it. then again, theres the aforementioned risk of forgetting to change into your pajamas but hey, it makes life a little more interesting. having said this, i personally reccomend waiting to change into your pajamas till you go to bed. peace...

update to last entry, i was driving thru fuquay today and on a corner there are these 2 little soccer fields where they have games every sunday. its always a little entertaining to watch the little kids run around and have fun. as of today they are constructing a walgreens pharmacy on that corner...

even after most people have gone to bed for the night or... blocked me... and after the mournful feelings of solitude and desolation have come and gone and you cant go to sleep because its still much to early, theres really not much to do. ah, not much to do but think. as boring as it may sound, this is the time of night for ruminations, when you can feel free to think and feel what you want without fearing repercussions from the more skeptical of compadres. sometimes its good to think about the stuff that usually goes unnoticed during the day and the things that concern the future and not the past. its quite interesting, really, what you can come up with. may even frighten yourself. but all and all, it can keep you from slipping into a coma when theres no one around...
something i think about a lot and with a lot of sadness is the fact that someday, we will all be living in a metropolis, where we walk to a store to purchase bottled fresh air because there is none left here for the taking, where we will have long long ago sold our houses for large sums of money so an apartment complex that can house 50 times the people can be built on its foundations, and where we have to drive to canada to find people still unconcerned with their land turned to profit. i have always been a hick, i mean at heart at least. born and raised out here where its mostly country, i love it. the simple fact that the city people i see everyday can go to glean potatoes on a field trip and drive out where i reside and make jokes that if they were to get stuck here, it was a slim chance they would survive, wondering if their cell phones would work... i would give anything to be able to live out here when i get older but the sad fact is that it wont be here in a few more years. i literally cant drive down my street without seeing a new subdivision popping up where there used to be tobacco fields, more small imitative homes being inflated at the spot where a cow had been grazing a month before. i mean, the last loop of 540 is gonna go right across the cow/horse field on the hill behind my house in a few years. its really quite depressing to someone like me. i enjoy where i live but soon its just gonna be the southern ghetto of the city. i want to be able to drive to the city in a few minutes but not see a house when i look out my front door. i want to be able to smell the flowers growing beside the driveway instead of the smog from my neighbors ford excursion every morning. i want to be able to watch the clouds some days instead of the news helicopters flying to another bank robbery or car wreck... i dont want to have to worry that the government is gonna forcefully buy out my backyard to cover it in asphalt so the people living in the ghetto can get to the next city 5 minutes quicker. i mean, whats the rush, whats the hurry? why do you need to urbanize these fields for the yankees to move in? money. its all about the money. the damn real estate agents (no offense to the people but damn) and their money. if you can see a place that isnt being currently used to house people then it certainly can be used to house people. either house people or house a business. i was driving out thru the woods west of fuquay a few days ago and smack in the middle of the trees you know what i saw? a sign proclaiming that this land is the future site of a brand new food lion!!! as if the people were bothered enough that the food lion 2 miles away was too busy or is too far to drive to get food once a month, food lion has signed a contract and will build a brand new one right here on top of the deer dens and squirrel nests to suit these few people who dont wish to drive and extra 7 minutes. there are strip malls and gas stations popping up everywhere like zits on an oily face. its a waste of land if it isnt producing a profit... this stuff really pisses me off. right now there is a pond near my house that a few people use for fishing. i can gaurantee that in 10 years every fish in that pond will be dead for all the pollution. in the aforementioned hill with the cows theres gonna be a strip mall so all the people driving to work and saving that 5 minutes can dine on cheap fast food and novelty items at the dollar store. its really sad. and one of the most depressing parts of it is that i really cant do anything about it. there are so many people out there who would rather bulldoze and ask questions later than take a core sample of a tree and find that it has lived through at least 3 wars. i find it disgusting, the greed that infests the masses today...
o well, tonite produced an angry rant, you really never know what you will think when given the chance.

you know what? hamsters (hampsters?) are really very amusing furry little creatures, especially when they're not your responsibility... my sister got one for christmas, a white and brown and black one, actually quite cute. but anyway, they're just fun to watch and laugh at. i mean, who stuffs their cheeks like that? its like it thinks that korea is gonna nuke us and all the food will be gone cept for the 14 seeds it has squarely planted in its bulbous jaws. even then, it goes and deposits them in a special secret corner that only it knows about... paranoid rat... all it does is sleep all day. but at night, yeah, thats when the party starts. that hamster will run in that damn wheel all night. its amazing, their stamina. the bad part is when that wheel starts squeaking. after a while i am forced to take the wheel out of the cage, usually having to dump the furiously running rat out in the process. its like they think they will escape or something. i mean, they cant be enjoying it. the things eats without abandon, it cant be for excercise (even though we all put on a few pounds this time of year). it just gets in and runs runs runs runs runs. its amazing really. also amusing is when it trys to run along the outside of the wheel. this would be the only way to climb out of course but still, after 10 go rounds of bracing it against the food bin, climbing halfway up and then being flung on its back as the entire wheel slowly rolls on top of it... you'd think it would get old. but alas, it keeps on truckin... (our first hamster actually escaped from the cage once, we are still at a loss to explain it...) even funnier is the way they run in that little plastic ball. this certain hamster, fresh from the dogpiles at the pet store im sure had never seen one of these contraptions before. bright yellow and transparent, this may be a little scary on first sight. well, this hamster certainly is an excitable one... after falling down the stairs in a box it wasnt really calm yet. so when my sister tried to lower it into that wheel it got a little bit freaked out. as soon as the wheel hit the floor and rolled a few inches, my sister exclaimed "o wow, look at that!" know whats also bright yellow and transparent? the pool of piss that hamster left for my sister to clean up. the damn thing got so excited it wet itself... i couldnt help but laugh...

hey guys... lets leave the christ in christmas.

wow, on the road im a semi malicious person but here at home is where the road rage sets in. i just realized it, there are so many things that piss me off about driving. everything from my parents to other people, driving is full of mishaps and stupidity never before seen or experienced by humans under 14. i mean, people who drive cars or trucks or suvs are just fucking idiots. but thats just me... anyway, let me explain.
the first thing that pisses me off about driving is people that dont drive the speed limit. near my house there is a single lane country highway where the speed limit is a constant 55. theres no way you can't understand that you are supposed to drive 55 or faster on this highway. anyway, in this one day, i was stuck behind idiots going 45 twice. on the way to church this morning, some moron in a sick green car just pulls out right in front of old 59 mph me. he decides to 1) not accelerate but rather attempt to run under the car to speed up and 2) end up leveling out at a smooth snail like 45. now people, especially when i plan on getting places by driving the speed limit, this really pisses me off. fortunately, the dude turns right at the next light before i write something violent on his bumber with my foglights. now, like i said, the world was really out to piss me off today. so surely enough, on the way home, driving the same stretch of road, i get behind this god dude driving a hopped up sloth. again, and this time in excess of 15 mph below the speed limit, we carefully picked our way thru the flat, straight, empty, boring highway like it was a fucking vietnamese minefield. at the same time this is happening, a farm truck is pulling out into the highway on the other side going the other direction. this was just plain stupid. he waits till this chevy truck going 55 towards him is about 100 yards away before pulling out in front of him. the thing is, he doesnt even accelerate. he just sits there as if the truck will drive itself. the chevy slams on breaks so hard i could see the front of his truck dipping to the pavement. he slows to the same speed as the other truck about 3 inches from the bumper, screaming explitives and with good reason. i could see the farmers face as he drove past. kinda smily and dreaming, like he just got high or something. my dad says it would be more unsafe for the 80 year old guy to be driving 55 with us. i say if theres an 80 year old guy that cant drive 55 safetly, he shouldnt have his fucking lisence!!!dammit people, read the signs!!!
the next thing that pisses me off about driving is people not using their turn signals. now i dont consider myself an extremely goody goody person but i at least offer the courtesy of telling people when and where im gonna turn. i literally cant afford the risk of being hit cuz i aint got no insurance. so i always use those friendly little blinkers in the somewhat naive and utopian beleif that the people in front and behind me will say to themselves, "what a nice boy, using his turn signals like that, telling us when and where he will turn. i think i will use mine now too... ::big smile::" yeah sure like that will happen. but some people just dont care and i resent those people, let me tell you. i mean some of this stuff is just stupid. i can almost pick who is gonna speed up behind me in the other lane on the freeway, get behind a slower car (thats still going 10 mph over the speed limit) and immediately just flash over and cut me off. i will usually scream at him or something passively violent as such but usually it just inwardly pisses me off. now, every now and then, someone will cut me off while using their turn signals!!! to them i usually give a hearty and cheerful thumbs up... other times that it gets to me are when people are turning off a road with no turn signals. they will be at a corner and i will see the brake lights come on and im of course thinking, "hmm they must be slowing down for the curve..." till im sniffing their bumber and realizing they have stopped dead in the road instead of slowing because they needed to turn. now, if they had just used those damn lights like they're supposed to, i wouldnt have to sniff so much carbon fucking monoxide. i mean, its not like its that hard or anything, you reach over and push the little lever and they come on. i dont even reach, i move my pinky finger over and flick them on. its that easy... i dont even care most of the time which way they point as long as their on. i dont as for much, just a little light!!!
the last thing i need while all this is going on is parents sitting beside me. oooh it seems like im the worst driver in the world when its up to your parents. ok so im going around this slow curve, its 45 here, and at the top of a small hill there is a 55. so i go ahead and speed up a little here to get up to speed for the 55. there is nobody around me. my dad tells me to watch my speed even though i wasnt even going 50 when i passed the last 45 sign. its rediculous. i always go too fast or dont check my lanes enough or even turn with too many g-s or forget to release the parking break... whats that about? what really makes me feel great is the way that no matter how good im driving or how flat and straight the road is, my dad feels he has to grab the handlebar on the front right side of the liberty (auto) whenever im on the road. all this in automatic cars. now the fun stuff comes in the jeep wrangler (stick). i love driving the thing, helluva load of fun, but again, my parents are always there, right there beside me. every time i inch forward, i either shift too slow, shift too fast, clutch too early(burn the clutch!!!) , clutch too late, clutch too fast (break the clutch!!!), jump the car, swerve, or something. im telling you, with all these things that could go wrong with the clutch, i dont see why they even put it in the cars, seems like it would raise the insurance too much. today, while i was driving the jeep, i would seem to jump on the gas a little early before letting the clutch all the way out, making the engine rev a little when i get into gear. now this doesnt bother me, but it bothers my dad plenty. every time i accidently do it he has to remind me that i did it again and again, as if i dont know. whenever my dad doesnt give me crap in the car, its my mom after the ride... ("that felt like i rode here on a horse or something, im never riding with you in the jeep again!") of course, i had a little fun while driving it...
one more thing... cops. since we got that new sherriff, there have been so many cops on the roads i cant even count them all. a week ago, i passed 5 in a mile and a half. this is rediculous, i see them everywhere arresting people. its creepin me out. seriously, i have a paranoia from cops. they're always behind me, but when i see them i drive real slow and nice and when the pass me they look at me funny...

why do you sit in a chair or lay in a bed but sit or lay on a couch? get in a car but on a boat?

"let me get this straight jenny, you wouldnt name your future daughter, automn ecclesiastes', brother "justice" because you are afraid he would get made fun of???"
well tonight i am free!!! there is a little anecdote than can explain how i feel. one of my less bright friends was at a camporee with me and my other friend and had gotten fond of yelling "freeeeedom!" every now and then. so my friend was driving around the campground in his dad's truck, the kid in the middle and me at the window. we were about to pass these hot girls and of course he lets loose his enthusiastic and unrelentlessly patriotic whoop of "freeeedom!" well, he was about halfway thru when my friend reached over and slapped him full in the face. the girls burst out laughing and he shut up for a while. anyway, subtract the slapping and, well, the girls and you get me and the whoop. and thats how it is now that exams are over. i want to hurry up and give a gurl her dues now because im proud to annouce that lisa got a 98 on her gopo exam so kudos gurl. but anyway, i dont want to know because invariably im paranoid enough to think that its gonna be bad and i have no urge to ruin my christmas break sooo... i wont ask. anyway i better get to the exams or risk writing all night. i hope you people appreciate all this...
well then, wednesday sucked but not as much as monday sucked which sucked almost as much as today but i will get to that later. wednesday came in a pretty box sweet with the frills and aromas of 2 exams that people had said were easy and of which one of them lied. french and chemistry, two of the seemingly forgotten classes, its not history or math or english, but they still count as much. french i came into thinking was going to be easy and truley it was. not bad but not good. just some words and phrases of a language that i will likely never use but only took to spite spanish because i hate spanish. there was no essay (damn the essays!) yeah i know but it still wasnt a piece of cake. we had to know complicated french maneuvers like telling time or figuring out the date or the weather. the way they speak over there, im surprised people just save the energy and just grunt like cavemen and point to the clock or the sky and people generally get the gist. but naw, they grunt and rrroll the r's and all sorts of shit a redneck like me just can't do. sometimes i think the teacher thinks its funny to hear the franglish flow rather choppily from my southern jaws. its just not meant to happen, if i wanted to speak french, i would go to a random resturant in cary and order off the side menu. otherwise, screw it. how many times am i expected to count things in french and hyphenate my numbers 4 times?? its rediculous. maybe its just me, the ignorant american but i think everyone should just speak english because im too lazy to learn their language. they do it all the time, whats the problem? no, really folks, it wasnt that bad. just a few sentences and stories using alloted words (mine was about wes, an orange, a bowl of soup, a camera, and an airplane... you dont want to know) and a little telling time or discribing the weather and its over, just like that... i better have passed...
exam 2 of the day was chemistry. now i had heard mixed reactions coming going in but had yet one coming out (damn!). some said it was hard and long and others thought it was short and easy but generally yeah it sucked. again tell me when im ever gonna be graded again on knowing the atomic mass of chlorine (35.45 amu) or the electron configuration for aluminum? please god tell me why! but alas all that didnt matter when your teacher for the exam is a chemistry teacher which means that in all likelyhood, your exam will suck. mr grunden is cool though so it wasnt that bad. you know, a few balancings, some electron configurations, a few too many dead scientists and philosophers and bam... times up, but i just started! apparently one of the complaints of the test was that it was too long. yeah i can see that seeing as i had only about 5 minutes to listen to my mccartney cd... but it was ok cuz the road and track was about read through anyway so it worked out. the only things i had problems on were the obvious ones. as one friend would say, "i struggle." yeah thats right, i have my blonde moments too, these just happened to be pretty entertaining. i still can't figure out what was wrong with me that day but the story relates the same, hence: i had just finished a problem with heisenbitch or someone and was now on one with the speed of light and plank's constant and all that shit. so i look on my calc. but the stuff's not saved on there like i had planned because they erased the calcs. on the psats we took a while ago... so i go up to grunden and tell him my problem, sounding pretty helpless because i thought i had been violated for not being provided this information. so i ask him if he can write those formulas on the board so we could have them for the test. well, he informs me with a little snicker that there they were on the board. so i stare at the board for about 5 seconds and then he lets me know, right there, in the middle. so i finally see them, written large and in red ink smack in the middle of the board, and subsequently turn a similar shade. he of course lets me know that it, "happens to everyone," sure mr grunden sure. so i go back to my seat thoroughly amused with myself and determined not to make that mistake again. ooh but that was not the last of my blonde roots... a few minutes later, i look up and written on the board were the time tables for the test, 55 minutes for the mc's, and a little infinity sign for the short answers. im thinking he is gonna keep us here till everyone finishes the short answers and get a little worried. so i look and he had taken the clock off the wall! i was like, "jeff man he took the clock off the wall, he's gonna keep us here!" so then jeff, not even looking up from his test, smoothly pointed. i slowly and already knowing the answer, followed his finger straight to the board where directly between the formulas i had just stared at for 5 minutes, hung that damn clock. more mirth and laughter to myself and i think i cried. but that is all behind me now, as is that damn chem exam. burn in hell, chem exam...
whoo, that was interesting but on to today, and dont think im dried up yet, im just starting to go downhill. today sucked as much if not more than that first fateful day of exams. even though it was the last day and invariably i was happy for that, still, 2 powers loomed in the distance. twin towers of schooling, the blocks that education is based on... algebra2 and english. i go in thinking "god save me now please got add some cheese to my cracker i could use it today." well, god didnt abandon me, just let me do my own exams for myself. i had heard more than a few things about this algebra exam this morning, its long, i didnt finish, its hard, the problems are impossible... yeah well screw you guys, bring it on. needless to say i wasnt prepared and at the teacher's advice, skipped the hard problems and did the easy ones... (all 5 or so of them) o well, im thinking, after i graph this seemingly impossible absolute value shit that, again, i will never actually use in real life, i can do that quadramateric thingamajigers over there. yes, people thats how it went. i went for a full hour and 55 horrrible long dark minutes. i would go through, checking ones that were too hard and go back and check again and again until there were no checks left. give me a break though! i dont give a damn that little johny's mom ran a speed trap one day and the cop caught her accellerating instantly whereas when she ran it again, the very next day!, he had to naturally accellerate. but i dont want to bore you people, my audience, just mourn the loss... thats right, that damn test took some of my good compadres. they were still valiantly fighting when i left to go eat lunch and true to their courage some of them made it out eventually, but i could tell they werent the same... my honor goes out to: lisa... wes... danielle... jordan... tom... barrett... lauren... and the many unnamed soldiers of algebra, you will never be forgotten, i swear.
my last, final, or the grand finale, of exams was english. this was the biiiig kahuna, the great demonic force that has haunted more than a few 6th period mate's dreams since monday. yet through their suffering, i have learned how to combat this beast... characters, authors, attributes, and themes. those be the keys you need to open the gate to the vacation beyond. needless to say, we were all still unprepared and probably overly sweaty and giggly with anticipation before that final test, dont deny it... i know i was... haha. yeah whatever but anyway a test is a test so i just had to take it like a man. i juked the first few and got by on technicalities and swift lies, but im still pretty sure they were right, i hope. then the going got tough. "character analysis? attributes? flat, round, dynamic, static, spherical, cubular, conical? what the fuck is all this supposed to mean", i asked myself. then realized that the going was in fact quite easy. i didnt even have to think but about 3-5 minutes to conclude that jean valjean isnt, in fact, a decorated dancer, or that someone is a foil... wait, a foil? a what? o well, its only a few questions like that that can put you over the edge but i think i sufficiantly dodged enough bullets to get by with an honorable mention and a purple heart or two. then, just as i thought it was over... when i thought my task was complete and i had earned my vacation... came the essay (damn the essays!) yes my friends, an essay (damn the essays!) longer and tougher than some cats... an essay (damn the essays!) worthy of the title, "big mac". cept big mac was a triple pounder, there were three parts to choose from. i quickly dove away from the didactic, mimetic, rectangle of doom shit and face to face with the... dum dum duuuuummmm... 4 purposes of fiction. o well, this isnt going to be that hard i said, but it turns out that the 4 purposes of fiction has 4 whole parts... that i only had to choose one of, of course. so i picked laymiz and something called "making people think"... i hope it turned out ok, because just like the gopo essay (damn the essays!) by then i was sufficiently brain damaged and subsequently memory detracted, to not quite remember what happened after that. i hope it went well... after all, i woke up listening to FTJ, and reading a grisham, so i guess i won... won, that is, or at least whipped out that white flag quick enough to not sustain as many battle scars as i thought i would recieve, which is all cool in the end.
so here i am, writing this all down in the sake of all of you and posterity, whichever matters... take my accounts to heart, every word is true and remember the compadres lost in the battles of gopo, french, algebra2, english, chemistry, and band. its been a rough week mate's but we've all pulled through, i commend you all on your hard work and... well... i love you guys... ::tear:: see you after break...

"death and hell a half on a cracker with a pepper and a half... without cheese!" yes my friends that about sums up my day at school. its hell week... **cough** exam week. its an emotional rollercoaster out there, folks, you got your ups and downs, your g-force curves and the occasional corkscrew... but always exams are looming as the dark, ominous, skanky, greenish light at the end of that tunnel in the house of horrors. the semester is almost over but the teachers feel they need to give us one more kick in the crotch before we can enjoy ourselves properly. see, they feel that if we can't enjoy ourselves before break and if they take a day off our breaks after the new year, they will get some kind of sick pleasure... the kind that some people get when they intentionally ruin someone's day with a cruel prank or ruin someone's week with a cruel essay. damn the essays! anyway, you get my point so i will go a little more specific. the exams today were gopo and band... the journey was trecherous and the seas were rough but i managed to come through only slightly brain damaged and slightly worse off in the hand and eye cramp department...
gopo was the exam i mentioned in the initial quote this fine december night. see, i can be happy now because tomorrow's exams arent going to be as hard, or so i hear. but gopo was different. my teacher has a way of being unique and she surely likes to transpose that uniqueness to her exams. see the way she sees it is that if she makes us do a multiple choice section first then we will be too tired to do an essay (damn the essays!) section. using this hypothesis, she adjusted the grading accordingly. as far as i'm led to beleive, the essay (damn the essays!) is worth more than the multiple choice section. this is of course crazy, seeing as i have no idea what i actually wrote 5 pages about because my brain and subsequently my memory was in severe shock at those very crucial moments of interrogation. the multiple choice was 80 questions long... 80 fucking questions people! thats practically a test and a pepper and a half, not to mention the cracker. once i had finished that part, i was relieved to be finished, finally. of course then i was unwillingly grabbed by the scruff of the neck and plunged face first into the murky depths of the twin 4-part essay (damn the essays!) half of the test. in fact it took up more than its alloted half of the test, the greedy s.o.b. took me a full hour to do that! thats 15 minutes longer than the 80 MC's! after all that, 3 pens, and a few too many hand and eye cramps, i completed the gopo exam in time to immerse myself into no thought. i found i couldnt think after that exam, what an odd feeling. i could have stood staring at a brick wall and woke up an hour later, really folks, it was that bad. screw gopo....
my 2nd shit-fest of the day wasnt as bad as the first. band is typically an easy class, you play some, lie some and you're through. but the lying catches up to you on an exam. at least there were no essays (damn the essays!). first we have theory... i dont know why in the hell they would teach us theories instead of real stuff. i mean, what if it changes and we have to learn it all over again? what if we get hit by an asteroid with a new gas element and it gets mixed in with the air and the vibrations and wavelengths change and they have to rewrite the theory? what then?? anyway, we had a theory test and that was easy so i dont care... pt 2 was on rock music which of course i did great on because one of my mottos is "i love rock music" so it was easy. last, we had a friggen score study which inherently looks easy until you learn that you failed it so i dont worry about it. last of all we had scales and "sightreading." umm question: why is it called sight reading when you read all music by sight? but anyway, i screwed up the scales of course cuz im a moron but thats ok because i had fun doing it. the "sightreading" wasnt too hard but was hard enough to embarrass me sooo i screwed that up too, typical of me and my exam habits. but its all allright because that day is over and tomorrow is a new day with new exams and hopefully there will be another post and maybe tomorrow there will be cheese on my hell/pepper cracker... please god, dont skimp with the cheese....

"i dont know what to get my mom for christmas"
"why dont you just go to bath and body works and get her some smelly stuff?"
"i dont know, my mom's not really a smelly person"

tonight is not an off night and true to my word i dont really understand much of what i wrote last entry. thats alright though, because today was a good day. pressure's off, parties, class rings, psat scores... its a grand life. im glad that damn band concert is off my back. its just and extra stress before midterms tuesday. we did alright, although we could have done much better. its all good though because most of the audience was parents anyway and practically by law they are forced to smile and really believe that their children performed much better than they could have ever dreamed which is cool in some ways but not in others cuz, being onstage, i know we could have done better. but that was last night and this entry is about today. it all started in gopo, with that buzzer review game. it was great, wonderful, excellent. me and the canadian, all the way. our team performed ok but it was me and the canadian. lets see, i think the final score was along the lines of mugwumps 26 (i didnt pick the name, sounds harry potter-ish to me), Greenpeace 14 (i wanted the name but mugwumps was picked), and the brigadiers of justice... 4. at least they had 4. they were in the negatives the whole damn game. nice work guys, you had 5 for a while but then you missed another one and lost your diagonal line. i'm sorry, but it was a raping. that kind of score should be illegal. of course, we got gum or candy whatever but it was more the fact that we won the candy than how the candy tasted because whoo, even a horse would have denied stepping on that gum, jesus. but it all continued with french next. we were gonna have a party anyway for the 1st years but i found out that wasnt till lunch so we got to do fun stuff like dancing and singing and stuff like that. the teacher was dressed in "traditional french canadian dress..." more like a lumberjack offspring. so she brings out some spoons and played them for us... spoons... she played the spoons. it wasnt that bad because if there was more amazing than those magic spoons, it was how fast she talked. amazing, i didnt know speak that fast can be called language. it certainly couldnt be understood by anyone in the room, let alone me the southern raised redneck. french is gibberish slow but that fast it was almost like she was singing skat, i swear. she proceeded to bring out, lets see, a mouth harp, an accordion, more spoons, a harmonica, and a little dancing man. i dont understand the dancing man but the accordion looked fun... yesss but alas she didnt know how to play it so we just squaredanced. you heard me right folks, squaredancing. it was quite interesting. i didnt do it (thank god) but the people running around in circles seemed to enjoy it enough. it was pretty funny actually. they would spin and call people birds and crows and jig and whirl and whoop and yell and eventually two guys would get stuck together and refuse to dance, and aww it was great to watch. well after that, we were led in a rousing rendition of the french version of frosty the snowman (frosty le bonhomme). that was cool because that song is utterly addictive. but anyway... lunch was excellent for one simple word... pie! yes there was meat pie and syrup pie and fudge and logs and all that is good and sweet in france. yes i almost got sick and the hot coke didnt help but it was still good for a while. after the pie i had to go stand in a friggen long line to pick up my class ring but it was worth it. its white lustrium (the cheap stuff) with a cross and a phoenix and a black onyx on top. wonderful cept its a little loose on my finger. ahh but thats ok, i hear your fingers swell in the summer anyway. band was last again but this time it was stress free and cool with more chocolate to fill my stomach with organic bliss. yesss and more hot coke, but thats beside the point because i got to watch a video of us playing. yay i was thinking. that is, till the speakers on the camera finally kicked in and my yays turned to groans. with the exception of the first song, which we pretty much threw in a ditch and stomped on (although the parents thought it was nice of course), the rest of it was pretty good. the saxes (moi) played too loud all the way thru but thats ok too because of course we are the stars anyway... a few duets went well, or as well as they are expected to go on stage with all those damn lights. all the damn lights, there must have been like 50 of them, spotlighting us. it was a 100 friggen degrees up there... good thing i had my trusty nalgene with some ice water beside me. so it went ok, everything i mean. today was grand and tonight is better much because i again have wonderful music, great friends, and for once, or twice a week, i can stay up all night if i want. theres even a new guitar shop opening up near me! this f@$%&#g rocks! the dude sells austins for $30 cheaper than squiers, even though they're made in the same friggen factory. its practically highway robbery, plus he gives lessons... he's also a really cool guy, looks like a hippie to me but thats ok because im hippie at heart. go greenpeace! yeah well i better stop writing before my right ring finger, its about to fall off after typing and supporting this super heavy... white lustrium... ring for 12 hours. but all that will eventually go away and we will all mellow out and mother earth will be saved and taken over by the hippies, and i will be there to help them. peace out!!!

its a relatively good night tonite. its an off night though. one of those nights when you are just not yourself. off nights arent as bad as they can appear though. to some extent, its liberating. you dont have to be yourself for some time at least. you arent anyone else but who you want to be. shape your being to fit your mood, the moment. say what you want to say, see what you want to see, hear what you want to hear but listen to what you want to listen to. appreciate it now because tomorrow you will fit the mold again, the mold of you, that sounds like you, looks like you and says what you say. thats the sad part. we arent who we really want to be except when you arent yourself. our focus needs to change from the perception of others to what we percieve from the first hand view. society naturally pushes us together and makes us conform, its sad that identities are lost in order to fit the puzzle. like in a dream. if you wake in a dream you can live it. you can do or change anything. that is what i call freedom, what we can do or see or be when we dont realize or care that nobody is watching us. its the true bliss of innocent ignorance. if you can be who you want to be without influence, then you are free.
i should be happier... ive got wonderful music, (mostly) great friends to talk to, this moment is perfect. i should celebrate it, appreciate it more. ive got it all but dont feel like using it. im floating but dont try to fly. i know that this moment wont last for long, that as soon as it ends i will forget it, i cant help that but it would be nice. i cant preserve it, pictures couldnt show, words couldnt tell, sounds couldnt express, what this moment is capable of. the sad part is that all that i write now wont make sense later. you cant understand the words without having known them personally. once i leave i wont understand it again. but for now, i will commit the deadly sin and pass... maybe this moment will come again someday. i can't count on it, just hope... maybe in a dream, i can be saved.

whats its weezer? oh nevermind... i felt too guilty so i edited out the catholic jokes i had here, i cant keep busting priests like that (haha). so anyway... ferrets are awesome in case you havent noticed. yeah this is lame but o well. screw it, i dont have anything to write about. give me something and i may rant about it someday but its not guaranteed... yeah whatever

can someone please explain to me why, in the mcdonalds commercials, ronald mcdonald drives around in a large red shoe? diced moo anyone?

do you have any idea how long its been since ive eaten a hamburger?? no im not a veggie!! right lisa... anyway im bored and somehow inspired. you know how it is on those late nights at 1230 when you just feel like youve got nothing better to do than rant to people about anything and everything? of course you do. if you dont then i reccomend trying it. buuut anyway. im sitting here watching someone perform on letterman thru my sunroof door, some lady with an acoustic guitar, how the heck does she get the sound to the mic? i dont know who she is but she looks pretty boring so i think ill keep the door closed and the good vibes rolling. anyway, that was like 10 minutes ago but i felt i just had to include it i dont know why dont ask. theres this beatles song rolling in my head called "dont let me down." it rocks, matchbox 20 did a cover for it. it sucked. just thought id warn you... well im going to see double-o-sevens new movie tomorrow, "die another day." should be interesting with the half naked women and the cars and the ice and yeah baybeee. cant wait... have you noticed that after 20 or so flicks and about 30 years bond has actually gotten younger? whats up with that? maybe he's just getting newer like all those gadgets every movie. i love that part... yeah after that is the party, the bash, celebration, the whatever you want to call it where there will be served hamburgers... not just hamburgers, the ones made out of cows. just thought i'd make that clear, the hamburgers that you dirty people consume everyday are actually fun loving cute peaceful cows! its horrible. stop slaughtering our nations... cows. all my friends can't feel their brains anymore, its like their tired or something... whats up with that? one even mentioned that she tied little dumbells to her eyes to try to sleep... yes this is the same one that serves diced moo to her friends... of course. i opened the door now so i can hear craiggers do his little schpeils about nothing. snoop dogg is on tonite. he did that girls gone wild video. wow. i used to think the beatles sucked but thats cause were all dumb and just dont understand them. they lived in a different era, the 60's when it might have been common for little kids to beat their teachers on the heads with silver hammers till their dead. they dont receive enough credit for their insightfulness. and all about madonna with the kids and the breastfeeding? its the real world people! we all need to get with the program and listen to qualitly lifelike songs like "come together'', really just listen to it you will know what i mean. people go to bed way to early these days, its already 1 and people are brushing their teeth and stuff like it is late or something. this ice storm must have frozen their bio clocks or some mess. awww the ice storm. i think its over but it very well might not be. another rain and freeze sunday night and bang bang, were out of school monday too, oh sweet vacation... yes but we shant ice out the party saturday i didnt think so. have you noticed how much unc sucks? i mean i hate them with a passion, they bite. they finally lost to illinois a few days ago by 27 points, ha! that will pop your ego bubble wont it! stick that in your pipe and smoke it daugherty, you lucy pansy. yes i made that up. and duke sucks too while im at it. but im not on that because that is a hot topic. see duke always wins... so i wont go there. weve finally got our christmas tree up and lit and its really bright and ack if you look at it too long you cant see the tv screen anymore. but anyway... i think i should stop writing so that veggie-but-cow-slaughtering-party-animal can read it after she brushes her teeth. yeah i know, nobody listens but im ok with that.

heard on snl last weekend~
"the police have taken over our society! we need to free the people! paint one painting, youre not a painter. unclog one drain, youre not a plumber. blow up one embassy, come on, youre not a terrorist! we need something to keep the police from tyrranizing the people. i think we should give the terrorists their guns back. they can watch the police. see?? its checks and balances!!"
"this week in japan, plans have been drawn to make a jet train composed of a train with an airplane jet engine attached for propulsion. what a concept... combining the thrill and danger of flying with the historical poor safety record of trains..."